Name: Ruth Wescombe
Age: 24
Location: Sydney, Australia

Okay, so I was born and raised in the Family … but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know a thing or two about life and how to live it. And one thing I’ve learned is that holding on to bitterness and resentment can be pretty suffocating! I mean I should know! I let it take hold of my life for months and I did things that I regret; said words I didn’t mean and lost close friends. And while I can apologize and go on … it’s just not the same. All because of anger!

Those thoughts that used to rage through my head left me senseless. It goes on and on, the things you think of get worse and worse, and before you know it you could murder someone. You exaggerate. The scenario gets repeated in your mind so many times, each time embellished a bit more, until finally you don’t know the truth from the lies. It’s all one big blob of anger! Sound familiar?

I felt justified. I felt I had reason to be angry and even others agreed with that. After a while I enjoyed being angry and I felt like I had to take revenge. But the thing I didn’t realize is that it’s not my place to do that—it’s God’s.

Growing up in The Family hasn’t always been easy. Yes, mistakes were made. But growing up in a secular lifestyle is the same—it’s not easy either. Some kids have it rough at school, many of them get abused (emotionally and physically), some have strict parents who, in their minds, don’t let them have fun. Life isn’t easy. No matter where you are you’re going to have problems, and to get anywhere in life you have to look beyond the problems.

I’m sure Ricky had difficulties in his life; but that is no excuse to do what he did! I knew Angela briefly and she was a wonderful person: friendly, honest, fun, easygoing, helpful, and sincere. My heart goes out to her family and those who were close to her.

My question is: Why can’t some of those who decide to leave The Family just get on with their lives? Why can’t they put the past behind them? Why are they so determined to make life difficult for those of us who’ve committed to staying? Obviously if we are in the Family it’s because we want to be. Personally I’ve had many opportunities to leave, and yes, I’ve opted for it a couple times, but eventually decided to stay. Why? Because I believe in what I’m doing, I feel fulfilled with my life and I believe it is God’s calling for me. But I don’t go around trying to convince those who’ve left to change their minds. I respect them for what they’ve chosen and they should do the same to me. No, I’m not deluded or brainwashed. I have a fully functional brain and think for myself. I’m not a zombie who does everything I’m told. I’m actually quite normal—and if you don’t believe that, well come and see for yourself!

I go shopping, I go to the pub, I drink and watch movies, I chat and SMS, I go on the internet. I hold conversations with people who are not in The Family on a regular basis, and not once has anyone mentioned anything about me being weird—to the contrary, people find me enjoyable to be around, attractive and friendly!

Compared to many who have grown up in the Family I haven’t travelled much; I grew up in Thailand where I lived for most my life, only recently moving back to Australia. During my school years I took a correspondence course from the States, completing a 12th grade education. I also took a number of college courses (using a Family-based curriculum CVC—Christian Vocational College) including: Christian Counselling, Primary Education, Early Childhood Education, Office and Secretarial Skills, Computer Applications, Teaching English as a Second Language, Foreign Language, Writing and Journalism.

I was also involved with the local volunteer work, including visiting schools, hospitals, daycare centres etc. and offering emotional support, encouragement, and aid. It’s a wonderful experience knowing that you’ve made a difference in someone’s life—however small it might be.

I’ve had a variety of experience in things such as extensive childcare (including caring for an autistic child), computer/secretarial work, desktop publishing, English teaching and summer camps, personnel and schedule management to name a few.

I am 24 and married with three children. I love them and of course want the best for them and that is one reason why I am continuing to stay in The Family where I know they will receive excellent care and tuition. I home school them; my eldest daughter at 6 is reading fluently and starting second grade. My son, 4, has started kindergarten and is doing well. My youngest, 1 year, is walking, starting to talk, and showing many signs of intelligence. She is almost potty trained, feeds herself and interacts well with others—even those she doesn’t know. They are not unsociable. I take them to the library, parks, on excursions, we go to playgroups, and they have fun!

So, as you can see, growing up in The Family has not damaged me and in fact has well prepared me for my role in life. Yes, I’ve had my problems, even experiences that I’d rather not repeat, but I’ve moved ahead and left those things behind. I wish that those who’ve left The Family can also move on and let go of their past grievances, instead of trying to hassle those of us who choose a different lifestyle.

As Marcus Aurelius so wisely said: “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”

Ruth Wescombe is a second generation member of the Family International, currently residing in Australia.