Name: Masaru M, (aka: Phil)
Age: 25 years

I’ve spent most of my life here in Japan as a member of the Family. I’m currently working with the Japan Activated desk doing secretarial work as well as regular home duties among many other things. My initial reaction [to the news of the murder-suicide involving Ricky Rodriguez] was one of disbelief and shock. Much like what I experienced when I turned on the TV one Tuesday evening on September 11th three years ago (being in Japan, 9/11 took place in the evening). Then again I felt the same bewilderment upon opening the local newspaper one day to read that a Sixth grade girl slit her classmate’s throat with an Exacto knife in the school’s lab simply because her classmate had said something to her that she didn’t like.

Part of me felt a little detached from these events as I didn’t know the parties involved personally. Of course we knew of him via “Life with Grandpa,” and other Family publications, and personally, I looked up to him a great deal and wanted to grow up to be like him.

After the initial shock began to fade, I began to wonder why someone would do something like that. Given the same upbringing, were I to be placed in the same environs as Richard [Ricky], would it drive me to the same actions? I’d like to think not. I was—as I think most children growing up in the Family were—taught that life is precious and that taking a life is only to be a last resort in a life-threatening situation. Differences are to be settled through dialogue with a little give and take from both sides with forgiveness, humility and understanding as the key ingredients. Am I being naïve in thinking that whether in or out of the Family I wouldn’t ever take another person’s life out of anger or revenge? Come to think of it, even in self defense I’d have a hard time taking someone’s life. Shouldn’t that have been deeply ingrained in Ricky as well?

Sure, that’s easy for me to say since I’m supposed to be a good “turn-the-other-cheek” Christian. But what would stop friends of mine who are no longer in the Family (besides the law)? More importantly, what WOULD cause them to take the same actions? I’m in regular communication with friends of mine who have left the Family in recent years. Many have found a lifestyle and career that they enjoy and are happy pursuing it. Some have gone on to marry and have children. My best friend is engaged to another good friend of mine. As for me, I’m very happy that they’re happy and vice versa. If they have troubles, I listen and help them to the best of my ability. Best of all, I can talk to them without them trying to tear down what I believe in at every opportunity. We can still be friends even if we’ve chosen different paths in our lives. But after hearing about Richard and his actions, I wonder, “Will my friends hear something one day? Will someone talk to them and tell them something that’ll set them off? Maybe I’ll go see them for dinner or a surfing trip one day and never be heard from again.” Didn’t Richard leave on good terms with the Family? What made him do a 180 and made him so bitter that he’d do anything, including murder, to ruin the Family?

What separates ex-family members who simply look at their past life in the Family as a closed chapter of their lives and move forward in pursuit of their dreams; and those who dwell in the past, hold grudges (and in this case, act on them), threaten violence against, and spend their time trying to tear down the faith of those remaining in the Family? I don’t know since, none of the former Family members I know are in the latter category. I’m very thankful that my friends never chose to take that road. I do feel for Family members whose children, friends and/or siblings have actively turned against the Family. The ones I have seen were torn between the love they have for the former member and their hate for what they are doing with their lives. From what I hear though, they leave on good terms and somewhere along the line someone/something gets to them.

As things became clearer, the next feeling I felt was one of rage at this seemingly premeditated act of violence enacted toward an unsuspecting woman. The last time I felt an anger like this was when I was told that a good friend of mine was threatened with physical violence on a BBS on the “Moving On” (yeah right!) website. I can only imagine what the family and friends of this woman feel right now. My prayers are with both of their family and friends.

Stand strong and remember that ALL things work together for good. But I mean, really! Did he really think people like me would feel sorry for him? Personally, I don’t care what his grievances were. There’s no justification for cold blooded, premeditated murder. What was Angela to him? Simply a pawn to get him one step further in his “life’s mission” to rid the world of the Family? Did he think this would make him a hero or something? “Great sacrifices by ones who have nothing to lose” my ass! Who gives you the right to sacrifice someone else’s life for them no matter what reasons you used to justify it? Sounds like a desperado complex to me. I only feel bad when I think of him having to face his Maker (not to mention his dad) with something like this on his track record.

One thing I want to be clear about, I don’t hate Richard. I know nothing good can come from hate. Hate just burns you from the inside out and turns you into the very thing you hate. Naturally, I don’t think too highly of him at the moment and I totally abhor his actions and intentions but I don’t hate him as a person and I do wish it could have ended differently.

To our enemies who encouraged or helped to plan this, egged him on, or have otherwise been tasked to use this to their advantage I say, “For the love of God, get a life! As far as I’m concerned, you’ve lost any moral high ground you think you had. One of yours killed someone.”

Masaru M. is a second generation member of the Family International, currently residing in Japan.