My name is Anne Boleijn, and I’m a second generation member of the Family. I’ve lived in the Family all 30 years of my life.

I look back on my life and I have so many wonderful memories, and am grateful to my parents for raising me in the Family. I have traveled to close to 30 countries on 4 continents, I have learned 5 languages, I have met countless people and experienced life and the world in a way not many others my age have been able to—except others who grew up in the Family, of course. We have such a rich heritage, one that I am proud to be a part of.

It’s not that in all this time I have never questioned whether the Family was the place for me—I have, and sometimes still do. But that questioning doesn’t come from any fault of the Family, or any fear that I or my daughter are in any danger. It comes simply from a desire to try something different, to see how I would fare in society, to see how successful I would be, and to live for myself and make money. The bottom line, however, after giving these things much thought is that I couldn’t stand a life like that. I have grown so accustomed to a life lived for others, a life that gives and keeps giving, that I am pretty certain I would be miserable if my life was only about me. I would be bored and unchallenged, my life would have no meaning. I have also felt that by leaving the Family I would be depriving my daughter of the best environment for raising children that you could hope to find. So I’m still here, I’m still challenged, and still living a life that I believe with all my heart has more meaning than I could find anywhere else in the world.

Having said that, I am in a state of shock at the crusade a small handful of former Family members are taking up against the Family as a result of the murder/suicide of Angela and Ricky. That they would use this tragedy as a springboard to further their own ends is beyond me.

These detractors allege that abuse is rampant in the Family, and Ricky himself confessed that he planned to (and we all know he then proceeded to) murder Angela and then take his own life to “stop the abuse.” The question that begs to be answered by thousands of parents and children still in the Family—what abuse? Those who actively fight us, those who spread these insidious lies, know there is no abuse in the Family! And I’ll tell you right now, if I thought there was any chance that there was harm to my daughter lurking anywhere, or even potential for harm, I would be out of here in a heartbeat. The reality is, you don’t get a healthier and safer environment to raise children than the Family, and the sad but angering fact is that those who are maligning us know this. Ricky knew this. Anyone who commits any abuse towards minors is excommunicated, there is no tolerance whatsoever for this kind of behavior. I know this with absolute certainty.

I don’t purport to know what goes on in the minds of those who maliciously attack us, but it makes me furious that in attempting to destroy the Family they are attempting to destroy my life and that of my daughter. What right do they have to do that? What did we ever do to them? What have thousands of Family members ever done to deserve to be maligned in such a pernicious, evil and hateful way? All we have ever done is live for others, and try to reach the world with a message of God’s love. Yes, in the Family we have some unorthodox and untraditional beliefs, but they are ours, we don’t impose them on anyone else. Some might think some of our beliefs are weird, and maybe they are, but they’re not illegal. It seems to me that they couldn’t find a legal means to harm the Family—because there is nothing to find—so they’ve stooped to the lowest of the low.

I’m appalled at the way these same detractors are exploiting the death of a wonderful woman whom they didn’t even know. They’re dehumanizing a beautiful woman who was murdered in cold blood, making the murderer out to be the victim. When I heard of the tragedy, it seemed very clear to me: an embittered, disturbed young man committed a murder and then took his own life, end of story. The villain and the victim in this scenario couldn’t have been more evident. How could the facts be twisted? It didn’t seem possible. But I was naively wrong. I am still incredulous at the depths to which they have stooped to iconize, or at the very least justify, Ricky’s actions, and malign the memory of Angela. I didn’t think the world would listen to such things, or that the media would report such insidious lies as facts. I thought they might have had a little respect for the dead. But, again, I was wrong.

In memory of Angela, I, and many others who know her, can attest that she was one of the most loving, kind, and caring persons you could have hoped to know. She was a beautiful woman, with a beautiful spirit, and she had so much love to give. Her life was cut short by someone filled with hate, not even toward her, but towards what she represented. You can’t rationalize that. I can’t think of any way to excuse Ricky, and I’ve tried. I had more understanding for him when I thought it was a crime of passion. I thought maybe he killed her in a fit of rage. It still didn’t make sense to me, but rage often doesn’t make sense. However, when I found that it was a rationalized, premeditated, well thought out and planned murder, it was chilling! Any understanding for him left me right there. For Ricky’s sake, I’m glad that I’m not God.

I also want to clearly state that I have absolutely no ill-will towards those who leave the Family. Quite a number of my personal family are no longer part of the Family. I love them dearly, and I respect the choices they’ve made in their lives, as they respect mine. I rejoice with them in their successes and I share their pain when things in their lives go wrong. While I don’t see them very often, they are still very much a part of my life, my thoughts and my prayers. I would be devastated and furious if this hype and rhetoric that has surfaced as a result of the exploitation of the untimely deaths of Angela and Ricky were to drive a wedge between me and them. I pray to God that it doesn’t come to that! I would have a very difficult time forgiving those responsible, even though I know God would want me to.

To those who are determined to continue this crusade and exploit these tragic deaths to meet your own selfish ends (what you hope to gain by this, I have yet to understand), I have this to say: Get a real job. Get a life.

And I ask you: How can you sleep at night when your admitted goals are bringing down and ruining the lives of thousands of peaceful, loving, God-fearing mothers, fathers, and children?

Lastly: What if it was your mother, father, brother or sister who was brutally murdered? Would you tolerate such dehumanization of their memories? Think about it.

Anne Boleijn is a second generation member of the Family International.