As I collect my thoughts and sit to write and express what it is I think and feel in regards to the tragedy that has just taken place, I find myself amazed at the contrary perspectives which can be taken of the same incident. Some will see this as an occasion to defend and justify a crime and will try to place the blame, not on the guilty party, but on the circumstances or the upbringing that conceivably caused their actions. That the motives of an individual can somewhat mitigate actions, I can understand. But to justify murder, premeditated cold-blooded murder, by blaming the upbringing and childhood circumstances of an individual is senseless. It denies the presence of a conscience, the existence of personal choice and freedom of will. We know that there is freedom of choice. We all enjoy the right of self determination. But we also know that for every choice we make, and every decision we determine, there will be a result, an effect, and an accounting. As individuals we become the sum of our choices and experiences. I believe that there is no justification for crimes against humanity, nor do I believe that we are the judges in this matter.

Now that I have started, I should introduce myself. I am Aaron Elgersma. I have the distinction of having been a member of the Family since I was born. I grew up living mainly in the countries of South East Asia where 2 generations of my family have worked as missionaries and social workers for the last 25 years. I have married here, and have 4 children of my own—children who are really the most precious thing in the world to me, and for whom I would gladly sacrifice to give the best education and upbringing I can offer. I continue in this Family as part of my belief that I am doing the best I can for my children and am offering them advantages and circumstances that cannot be matched.

Far from being abusive and harmful, I choose this environment to raise my children as I believe that it will give them the moral fiber so conspicuously lacking in contemporary society. As a parent I have complete peace of mind about them, they are never “out of sight, out of mind”, but in our own home school, where they are under the immediate supervision of my wife or myself. No one has ever offered them drugs, they aren’t being pressured to conform to peer-specific behavior, nor have they had to suffer from neglect, fear, or abuse. My children aren’t angels, but I will say (with the bias of a parent) that they are well adjusted, happy, eager children.

In a recent conversation with my father, who is no longer a member of the Family International, but is raising a second family and has a child of comparable age to my youngest son, he said himself that the Family International was the best place to raise children, and that society at large has nothing comparable to offer. Gone are the days when the family circle was the basic building block of society.

I choose! It is my right as a parent to choose that which I think best for my children. I am an adult. I invoke my right of self determination. I choose my lifestyle, my goals, and my friends and associates. I am given this right provided I am willing to accept the consequences. I accept those consequences. I don’t question the choices of those who have chosen a different path. I don’t question those who have chosen to leave this Family. I haven’t questioned those who haven’t decided to join this Family. I wonder why am I being questioned?

The choices of this young man do not reflect on me, nor do mine on his. Each has their own destiny. To some a destiny shaped by their decision to submit to the will of God, and to accept His precepts as the guiding principles of their decisions. To others, a destiny shaped by their own impulses, without the restraint of conscience, or even a natural love and respect for their fellowman. It saddens me, this choice that resulted in the death of one of our own, but I know that the accounting must come, and even now, he gives account before a Higher Judge. None of us are in a position to understand, nor to pass sentence on this individual, or his actions. So why all the speculations?

This I will say: Having grown up in similar environment, I have never contemplated murder as a solution.

Aaron Elgersma is a second generation member of the Family International.