I am just a few weeks shy of my 25th birthday. My name is Chloe Simone O’Connor and I was born in the Family. I’m almost a quarter of a century and so far I’ve lived a full and happy life. As the tragic events of Saturday the 8th of January unfolded, a mixture of emotions, confusion, and pain hit me as I contemplated the loss, sadness, and hurt that this will be to so many people. There are those who think these events are a cause to stand up and fight and attack our beliefs and there are those who quietly watch and hold their own opinions inside and chose rather to move on with life—to those who chose this path I thank you.

For me growing up in the Family, being raised as a missionary and having chosen to continue on as one, I find the antagonism that has been expressed by some of my former friends and fellow Family members deeply saddening. For all the wide range of opinions, statements and “facts” that are out there, all I can judge by is what I know—my life, my experiences and what I personally have seen and heard living in a number of Family communities in over ten countries.

I don’t have children, but I hope to one day. And when that time comes I want them to be raised in the Family. I want them to experience the fun, exciting, challenging, adventurous childhood that I myself had. I was never abused, coerced, or brainwashed. I consider myself to be a stable, confident, and independent young person and I attribute that to my upbringing. I had parents who loved me, teachers who cared for me, and friends who helped me when I felt the loss of losing a sister. And during some of the most difficult times in my life I received the help I needed to carry on. Where else can you find the emotional and physical support that I have found in the Family? I think you will be hard pressed to find a better more caring environment to raise children in.

Sure, our parents made mistakes in the past—who hasn’t? Let he that is without sin cast the first stone. I for one am not sinless so I won’t be trying to throw mud at anyone. But I will stand up for what I know is right, what I know is true, and that is that far from being a harmful place The Family is doing so much to help, encourage, and be a positive force in the world where there is so much darkness. I want to be a part of that.

I believe that this world would be a better place if we all tried to help one another instead of hinder, build up instead of destroy, encourage instead of knocking down, and put all of that energy and enthusiasm that God has given us into productive projects that originate from love.

To me some of the accusations that have been thrown at us are downright funny— even hilarious—as some people have claimed to think we are all mindless brainwashed zombies. Surely they haven’t been living around Family born young people??? But the recent accusations against two people that have probably done the most good then anyone I know— in a time when we should be supporting their loss, crying with them, and praying for their strength as they cope with a very personal pain of losing a child—outrages me. Instead of being supported they have to contend with bitter, cynical people who will stop at nothing to defame and destroy them. No parent deserves that!

I knew Ricky [Rodriguez] as a friend. I lived with him for several months in England and I mourn his loss. I pray for his wife, who when I last saw her was a loving, intelligent, confident, caring young person. I pray that she has the strength to cope with this and that people will leave her alone to live her life the way she sees fit.

When I lived with Ricky in England, although his childhood may not have been perfect in his opinion, it was far from the negative tirade that has been quoted in recent years. There was no evidence of an abused life or of him being a love-starved child as he has claimed to be. He was very capable of giving love, and for someone who was never loved by his mother this would be a very hard act to put up for so long.

Sometimes I think we tend to carry others’ wounds. I know what it’s like to carry the hurt of another, when you hear of something someone else has gone through and you pick it up as if it happened to you. I know the weight bitterness can bring as you try to not only pull through with your own life but then to take on others’ negativity. It can just bring you down to where there is no stopping you. I pray for all those who carry this weight and are shouldering resentment and hurts from the past that could all be forgotten and removed with a bit of love and forgiveness. I have in my life been emotionally hurt and forgiven those who have hurt me (not wrongs committed because of The Family as a group, but we are all human and where there is emotion so will there be mistakes) and I know the freedom that it brings. My only prayer for those who would fight this life I lead is that they too can find freedom and joy as they move on with their lives and stop trying to destroy mine.