To whom it may concern,

My name is Gabriel James Yoder. I am 23 and was born and raised in The Family. My life has taken me around the world, to five continents and over ten countries, and inside countless Family homes. If you know something about the Family, chances are you’ve heard the slander and accusations of those who hate us. I wanted to take this time to give some of the other side. I realize that for those who’ve already made up their minds about us this will make little difference, this is for those who haven’t.

First of all, I was shocked by what had happened, and angry. I knew neither of them personally, but of course I had grown up knowing who Ricky was. When the media began to publish the first of the articles, I was horrified at the portrayal of the murderer as an abused ex-cult member who was driven to do what he did, and it seemed as if that justified it. Little was said about the plight and fear of an innocent woman who was brutally murdered in cold blood. Then when I read some feedback from a few rabidly hostile former members, I was sickened. Some of these people were not only advocating what he did but describing it as nothing more than “removing a splinter from his thumb”! This is a woman’s life we’re talking about not a splinter! I was horrified when I realized that what was once solely vicious and obnoxious verbatim had turned into physical violence. A line had definitely been crossed. I ask myself why, what gives some the right to attack our way of life and consider it there calling to try to destroy us? What do they want. I am sorry for the bad things that happened that they can’t let go of, but leave me alone!

I grew up in the Family. I’ve seen the ups and downs, I’ve seen the good and the bad, the good far outweighing the bad. I consider the Family one of the best and safest places on earth to raise my two children. Do these people who so vocally attack the Family think we’re all idiots? I guess that’s a rhetorical question. My life has been full of awesome and incredibly fulfilling experiences. Was it perfect, of course not, but in my personal experiences I was never abused. I have had the wonderful opportunity of being raised in countries other than the US, giving me a much greater understanding of the world I live in. Since being an adult I have traveled to Japan, Peru, Ecuador, Ghana and now Romania. The chances I’ve had to help others less fortunate than myself has opened my eyes to how the majority of the world, outside of many spoiled first world countries, live. After seeing conditions so many children around the world live in, it makes me so thankful for our life and all the blessings my family and I have. If the Family was not a safe place for my children, I would not be here, period. More than that it’s a place where my kids can see so much more than other American children, who from my point of view have so little understanding of anything outside their world of Wal-mart and Burger King.

I have had all the education I could hope for in the Family. Sure some children were neglected in that aspect, some children are everywhere. I have held jobs and done very well at them. I am 100% confident that if I decided to leave the Family at some point to pursue other interests, I could excel at whatever I chose to. I feel the same for anyone who puts there mind to it, including those wasting their lives away attempting to bring us down. It won’t happen. As a young person in the Family, I choose this life, if I decide to choose something else, it won’t be because of someone else’s bitterness. I am sorry, I have nothing to do with your beef and if I could do something to make it better I would. I don’t want to belittle the feelings of hurt that some have, but what can I say? Unfortunately bad things happen, to everyone! It’s not unique to those who’ve left the Family, though by the words of the vocal apostates you would think so. There has been so much said on all these issues that I am sick of it. The majority of the media with its one-sided unprofessional “insight” into the Family rarely gives us a chance to give our point of view. If the National Inquirer says “Bat boy born to Florida woman”, people laugh. When the major news sources launch their inquisition into our lives without trying to understand us or give us a voice, I see no difference in the quality of the journalist who wrote about batboy and the one who is giving their “scoop” on the Family. To me the reason why is obvious, it sells! Sex, cults and children, you’re sure to grab the readers attention, it doesn’t seem to matter what the truth is or what the other side is. They should be ashamed of themselves. Why is so much credence given to a few loud-mouthed antagonists and personally motivated “experts” than to the many young people still happy in the Family, or out of the Family, and the many intelligent academics who’ve actually studied the Family. I think there are many second generation Family members who would be happy to sit and give their side, you might find us not the neurotic, introverted, products of a dangerous cult that you assume us to be.

All that to say, at some point enough is enough. I am a missionary in the Family, that is what I choose. I am trying to give my life to help others and to serve the Lord. I have volunteered in orphanages, shantytowns, hospitals and more. I have “beaten the streets” to raise the support for these projects. I have met all kinds of amazing people in and out of the Family through all of this and learned more than I could ever had elsewhere. I am a musician and am currently working with three other young Family guys at putting a band together. This is just a bit of all that my life involves and I love it. I want this life. To those who want to stop me from this, words cannot express what I would say without compromising my Christian sample.

Thank you for your time!

Gabriel Yoder is a second generation member of the Family International.