(From a second-generation member of the Family International)

To the reader:

My name is Bernadine Wolford. I’m an American citizen, thirty-two years of age, born and raised in The Family International, a Christian organization that has been recently highlighted in the media.

I have recently read about the deaths of both Angela Smith and Ricky Rodriguez via the Internet. To say the least, I am furious to hear that someone I met on several occasions (while he visited in Moscow, the second and third times when he lived in Hungary) and regarded as a decent young man could be so enraged with hate to actually stoop to such a low level and kill someone who was his friend in the past. The fact that Ricky put on a pretense and wanted to meet Angela supposedly on a “friendship outing” with the intent of later on stabbing her is absolutely horrific—I can not imagine why any person in their right mind could justify this horrible crime! Now over a week later to hear the twisted, distorted version of the so-called “truth”, calling it a “crime of passion”? It just doesn’t settle well and is even more reason for my writing this. Certain individuals (namely detractors of our Christian group) are bent on destroying our group, saying that Ricky did it because he was abused by Angela Smith, concocting lies that “she was Ricky’s nanny” is so far from the actual truth about his past.

Although I never met nor lived with Angela Smith, I do know who was Ricky’s nanny. I met her (Sara D.) and had opportunity to teach one of her daughters while I lived in Brazil. I lived in South America for eleven years, three out of eleven in Brazil, from 1989-1992. It was in Brazil, where I finished my studies and took up several vocational courses. I also had the opportunity to start receiving training to become a teacher. Since then I have had the opportunity to teach children in our communities both in South America as well as in Eastern Europe. My experience teaching has mainly been for elementary grades up until 8th grade.

Since coming to the Balkans, I have mainly been engaged with relief work and missionary activities. Several years ago, (in September 2000) I was offered a job to teach at the International Primary School of Sarajevo. I accepted this job offer as it was during a period of time when our work was in transition and we had fewer projects, and therefore resources to cover some of our over-head. Three years later, a good friend asked one of my fellow-missionary colleagues and me if we would consider taking up her Montessori-style Kindergarten as her husband (who works for the UN) and her small family were moving on to another post. We accepted the offer and are now nearly mid-way into the second school year. The parents who enrolled their pre-school aged children are from the upper strata of society here, the foreign community of Sarajevo. So I ask the reader: why would anybody consider sending their children to our kindergarten (taught my two Family missionaries, as well as one local teacher) if our group is anything close to the description our detractors give in the media? Calling The Family an “abusive” environment for children is an absolute lie! Think again before basing your judgment on false accusations. Hear the other side and be objective.

On a personal level, I’d like to add that I’m also a mother of one child, expecting the second child in August. Like a mother, I love and treasure my son and wouldn’t want him to ever be subject to any physical or emotional abuse. Isn’t it ironic that the very people who are so active in defaming our group with the final intent of taking as many children away from their parents and families, are in this case the real abusers? This is no secret to us of the second-generation as such ire has been spread via our detractor’s web-site as well as noised through other sources.

It’s sad that people born in the same environment as I would have such hatred and ire. On the other hand, I also know of many young people who have left the Family in hopes of starting another life-style. I respect their decisions and am happy to hear of these who are content and contributing positively to society in whatever capacity. I also have several siblings—one brother and two sisters, who are no longer living in the Family and I love them very much. I recently met with one of my sisters and my brother while I was in California this last summer. I can say that although I don’t meet with them each year, because of the distance in travel, still I have enjoyed their company each time I’ve seen them in the past. I respect their decisions and am happy for the nice moments together. It’s commendable that they have found their place in society. They are all honest, hard-working, living very decent lives and quite happy! I wish not only the best for them but also for other friends of mine who left our communities on a friendly tone. Everyone has the right to be happy, living a life of service to mankind in whatever strata of society they personally feel best suited for. To explain how I feel about certain issues from our past. Personally, I can say that I can remember times when I wished life was easier in the Family communities. As a group, we have gone through a natural process of growing and learning—what some have termed in the 70’s, a “maturation of a movement”. This I’ve experienced to some degree while living as a teenager mostly. One thing I can say, is that since those turbulent teenage years our leadership has done their best to ensure that any problem have been sorted out and issues dealt with in numerous publications and efforts to train and teach us to cooperate and live harmoniously within our individual homes and communities.

Our present day communities are the best they’ve ever been! My son, who is six and a half, is very happy! As most children his age, he receives an adequate education, enjoys outings and excursions, movie viewing and most of all, the company of his friends. He is very socialized and is not deprived of local friends (outside our community) either. As a mother I couldn’t think of a better upbringing than to be exposed to a wide range of languages, cultures and wholesome experiences that until now he’s been blessed with. While I have been in the Balkans, I have been actively involved in post-war trauma therapy, youth leadership training, as above mentioned I’ve taught pre-school and second grade. I am happy and wanting to keep progressing towards bettering the lives of the future generation of this war-torn country. I have seen much progress in Bosnia over the past six years that I have lived mainly as a missionary and only wish that more people could improve their lives by our team’s efforts. To our detractors, I will say this please, think of the repercussions of causing us harm, either to our children or to us as a group. Think of the lives we wouldn’t be able to aid and help improve. Let us resolve any differences from the past, reconcile and forgive and continue our separate goals of bettering society, instead of tearing down the efforts of those of us who want to serve our neighbors as Christ taught us to do by His loving sample. To those who are still associated with us, although no longer part of our group, I only want the best for you too and pray for your continued happiness and fulfillment in life!

Respectfully,
Bernadine Wolford

Bernadine Wolford is a second generation member of the Family International.