Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Juliana Connolly; I am a fulltime member of The Family International.

Although words cannot fully express how horribly tragic the murder and suicide of Angela Smith and Richard Rodriguez, respectively, has been, it is terrifying to see how the entities we expect to provide us with truthful accounts, based on facts and evidence have distorted this story so far out of proportion, that not even by taking back every word could they ever rectify the harm that has been done.

I find the sad lack of facts, and the incredibly large amount of irrational, sensationalism found in recent newspaper articles and television shows, alarming. While most respected academics consider the tales of ex-members and apostates to be little more than “private mythologies”, and viewpoints which have become distorted with time, it is almost humorous how some journalists will take these statements as if they were some factual account by God himself, and be willing to risk any and all measure of logic, reason, and journalistic ethic, to publish such comments and opinions.

A lot of the attention seems to have turned from the facts of what actually happened, to whether or not The Family International is a safe place to raise children, and to what extent the Family International is to blame for the deaths of Angela and Richard. Comments, opinions and accounts of those who were born and raised in the Family but chose to follow other lifestyles, have been rampant in the media. And in light of this, I believe the same amount of attention being given to those who left, should be given to those who were born, raised and remain in the Family. I was born and raised in the Family, and following is my opinion.

A lot has been said about being raised in the Family, how it has affected those who have had the privilege to do so, and how it has, and does affect one emotionally, physically, psychologically etc.. The Family’s methods of education and childrearing as well as the other aspects of our daily lives, have been greatly studied, analyzed, scrutinized, judged and published about. All official court and academic conclusions worldwide, have found the Family to be a good and reasonable place to raise and educate children. Have any mistakes been made? Yes, but they have also been rectified, through modifications in our code of conduct, and through countless apologies, by The Family’s leaders and spokespersons.

While many of us who were born and raised in the Family have taken seemingly opposite turns in the directions of our lives, having grown up in the Family gives us something in common. Though there were certainly many differences from country to country, in habit and culture, when we were raised, in essence we all shared many of the same experiences. Whether the decision made was to become a singer, lawyer, writer, cook, missionary, programmer, nurse, doctor, designer, etc. we all shared a rich, priceless and privileged upbringing.

We were raised as Christians, and yes we did have to follow certain moral, ethical and behavioral rules, which, were we the ones calling the shots, we may not have chosen for ourselves, we were not raised to be robotic, close minded individuals. Actually if one were to analyze the many differences in opinion, likes, dislikes and theories which can be found in any group of Family-raised individuals, the freedom of choice and thinking is very obvious. The fact that many have chosen to not pursue this life, is proof that “the Family”, and our lives herein did not make us into what some people would like to portray. We have each made our own choices, based on what mattered to us, and what we desired our life’s goal to be, and have pursued such liberty. The freedom of speech and religion is a gift we were given the day we were born as citizens of the world. It’s a freedom every person has right to, and a freedom I believe every Family-raised individual has held onto throughout their years.

I was raised in a happy, safe environment, I had everything I needed, I was surrounded by people who loved me. I have many happy memories, from buying ice creams with my parents, to days at the park with my peers. I learned to swim & participated in swimming competitions, as well as practiced a great variety of different sports. I performed, which teaches one a great deal about getting out of oneself & expression. I had the privilege of learning at an early age, the joy of giving, through performing at homes for the elderly, orphanages, daycare centers, and hospitals. Aside from the joy these things brought me, through such experiences I came to understand, that I was much more privileged then millions of others.

Did I like everything in my childhood? No. But then what child does? Every child thinks they know so much more then their parents, and there’s a million things they would have done differently if they were raising themselves or their own children. Every kid has that perfect thing their parents weren’t able to give, or that time they couldn’t go out but wanted to. Every kid had that day, or many of them when they didn’t want to make their bed, wash some dishes, or help with their daily chores. In most cases they end up doing them anyways, and maybe being in a bad mood all day, all week or even a whole month. But life goes on. I could have chosen to allow those times to ruin my life, I could choose to write odes about them, but rather I chose to consider them experiences which enriched me, and gave me more to offer the world.

No one in this world lives the perfect life, everyone has their own problems or dislikes they just have to learn to deal with. There’s the boss he didn’t like, the neighbor she couldn’t stand, the color someone painted their house, maybe it’s the work he didn’t like, but well if he wanted the salary, it had to be done. That’s life! It has many problems, many things we wouldn’t choose for ourselves, many obstacles, and often less then ideal circumstances. But what makes us who we are aren’t the circumstances but rather how we decide to let them affect us.

All of those who have moved on from the Family’s lifestyle with the goal of pursuing another lifestyle, of becoming something or doing something with their lives have become successful well adjusted citizens and members of their communities. I am filled with a genuine respect for them, and I daresay the wonderful education and upbringing they had in the Family contributed to their success.

However there a few people who left the Family and have chosen to not move on with their lives, but rather to be sad, bitter, negative and take on distorted perspectives, but are not happy to stop there with making their own lives miserable they want mine to miserable too. I sympathize with those who have suffered some sort of mistreatment in their past, but this does not justify the uneducated, unkind, immoral, unethical, closed-mindedness and disdain that they look down on me and those of us who have chosen to remain in the Family. Speaking in gloriously selfless, sacrificed, passionate tones. Seeking to rally the masses, save the world and open eyes, believing themselves enlightened and giving in to a life of enlightening others. They feel themselves to be some sort of self appointed saviors of all of those of us who have decided and chosen to remain in the Family. They speak so bravely of free choice, but as soon as we make known the fact that our choice differs from theirs, they say we are brainwashed. Open-mindedness is goal they seem to only be able to reach through the sad discrimination of others’ freedom and opinions. They have chosen to hold on to a sad sob story of their past, and have carefully decided to follow unhappy, hate-filled lives, rather then making their choices, and living up to the consequences. They blame their every inability, disillusionment and failure on anyone else, rather then themselves. It’s a lack of courage to stand up and face themselves and their own decisions, to take responsibility for their actions, and rather then dealing with their own lacks, they have in turn decided to attempt to cause everyone else to join them in their sorrow-filled, pity me please opinions. It is in my opinion a pathetic way of life. My heart goes out to all those who sacrificed to raise them, and in return receive their hollow, unfounded, biased, negative, untrue, cruel, criticism.

I would prefer not to bash anyone’s personal freedom, but every time I read that I’m brainwashed, mentally ill, that I have a bad hand in life, that I can’t think for myself, that I made the wrong decision, that I’m a idiot for believing what I do, and living the way I have chosen to, I feel attacked. I consider it a personal offence, every time the way that I, and those I love and live with are criticized, maliciously bad mouthed, cynically, and crudely ill spoken of.

I have heard such absurd profanities in regard to my choice, my upbringing, my parents, my sanity, my beliefs, my friends and co-workers, my decisions, the people I have chosen to follow, coming from people I never moved so much as a finger to malign, it sickens me. It sickens me that I should actually be defending the freedom and liberty they say they desire, and yet kill with every word and deed, the same freedom and liberty that countless many brave men and woman have died defending, they spit upon.

I was born and raised in the Family, but that isn’t why I’m here today. I’m here today only because after carefully taking stock of what I wanted to do with my own life, I decided that the Family is the best place for me personally. I do not look down on those who have made choices otherwise, and I wish they would give me the same courteous respect. I believe wholeheartedly that the Family is the best way of life for me, but also I understand that millions of others do not share my views or opinions. I do not refer to them as brainwashed, uneducated or unable to think for themselves.

I love the Family International. I love what we stand for, what we defend and what we represent. I value my upbringing which has given me invaluable life experiences. At the age of 18, I can write and speak fluently in 2 languages, having studied up to JR High in these languages, I also understand a little of a third language. I do not in anyway consider myself or anyone Family-born, underprivileged. I’ve lived in different cities, and have been given a unique understanding of many others. I have countless memories of my wonderful upbringing, & have had many educational, sociological & character building experiences. Professionally I have had ample experience in general office and secretarial work, data processing, direct marketing, communications, computer applications, telephone sales etc… I taught English as a foreign language, and have also helped organize and manage seminars, meetings, & retreats. I am currently receiving training and experience in graphic work. It would be hard to list everything I have done or learned, but all of this the Family gave me.

Juliana Connolly is a second generation member of the Family International.