To Whom it May Concern

My name is Rene Elgersma, I am married to Aaron Elgersma. I am 29 years old and live in Southeast Asia I have four wonderful children, Jason—10, Nicole—8, Kevin—5 and Justin—9 months! I am involved in a very busy center with many exciting things happening. We recently sent many teams down to the tsunami-affected areas and are actively involved in assisting those who have lost everything! Not to mention that for the past 29 years I have lived to help others.

I have lived in 9 countries throughout the world–traveled to even more. Assisted in supporting and encouraging senior citizens, orphans, homeless people, children whose parents are in prison, handicapped children, aids patients, and the list goes on.

I just wanted to give my two cents on the situation with Ricky, with regards to the tragic events of Angela’s death. I don’t know Angela personally, nor have I ever met Ricky, so I won’t attempt to delve into their characters, what they may or may not be like, what may or may not have happened to them in their lives. One thing though that I do want to delve into is my personal life and God-given right as a free moral agent to live how I want to live, to do what I want to do and to raise my children how I see fit without those who may or may not know me personally attacking my personal convictions and/or way of life.

It is my personal belief that they have no right whatsoever to involve themselves in my life, in how they feel I should or should not raise my children, especially since I venture to say not one of them that I may know has seen me or my children in the last 10 years.
They can say what they will about Ricky, and though it is my personal belief at this point in time that he was a disturbed young man, I am not going to go out of my way to defame his character or anything about him. I am deeply disappointed and hurt by what he has done, not to mention appalled at the horror of the situation. Just because murder is a common occurrence in this day and age doesn’t make me any more hardened to hearing of someone performing such a horrendous act.

To think that anyone would side with a murderer, no matter what the case may be, is unbelievable. What is this world coming to? Whereby someone can murder someone else, premeditated and in cold blood, and then there are those who feel no remorse, no sorrow and then have the nerve to turn around and justify the act and sympathize with the murderer. It’s unbelievable. And then at the same time, these are the self-same members of society that then have the nerve to say that I am not raising my kids in a healthy environment! Who the hell do they think they are? I wouldn’t want any of my kids within 100 miles of any of them. To think that they almost condone what Ricky did and then think they can turn around and accuse me and those of the Family of not raising our children in a safe environment is appalling and totally beyond belief.

To them I say, “who in God’s name do you think you are? If you want to pick on someone, you’d sure as hell better find someone else. Those are my children, who I love more than anything else on this earth and I would give everything for in a second. I am their mother, I bore each and every one of them, I went through difficulty after difficulty in raising them and NO ONE is going to tell me how they think I should raise my kids.”

They’re wonderful kids, caring, concerned, fun-loving kids. They have problems like all kids do, but I’d venture to say that they have a hell of a lot more moral values then a lot of kids in society today. I am not out there to bash and criticize how you raise your kids, so don’t bash and criticize how I choose to raise mine.

If there’s one thing that hits a sensitive nerve with me, it’s my kids. Each and every one of them means more to me than anything in the world and I would do anything, give up anything to see them raised in a safe and healthy environment, and if I thought for one millisecond that there was anything dangerous or unsafe about how they were being raised or anyone around them I would be out of there in a flash.

You can have all the issues you want about anything you want, just don’t you dare begin attacking my lifestyle, what I have chosen to do with my life—which I have every right to do, just as you do, and most of all my children. They are the greatest gift that I could ever have and no one is going to speak badly of them, how I care for them and how they are raised. All that to say, please stick to the subjects you know well, to the people you know well and don’t make general, sweeping statements about me, or my children, and I won’t make general, sweeping statements about you and what I feel about some of your less then positive attributes.

As far as I can recall, we live in a free society where people have a right to choose to live how they want, to choose their own way of live and this is what I have chosen, freely and of my own personal choice. You have no more right to tell me that what I have chosen is wrong or bad, then I have right to tell you that I think some of your ideas, actions and attitudes are so totally depraved.

I am absolutely certain that the way I am living my life and bringing up my kids is the way God wants me to. I just hope you’re as sure about your life as I am about mine.

Rene Elgersma is a second generation member of the Family International.