Written by Ariana Matas – a second generation member of “The Family International”

My initial reaction when hearing of the tragic event of the murder of Angela Smith by the hand of Ricky Rodriguez was complete shock and sadness. I wasn’t so shocked however when I heard the blatant lies spread through the media by our detractors. Nor was I shocked when the media just gobbled it up like my goldfish gobble the fish food I throw at them – although comparing the media to my gentle goldfish would be an illusion. I would compare the sensationalistic media of today to voracious sharks who often don’t care who they rip apart as long as they get their fill of “high-rated”, lucrative stories.

I AM shocked though at the unashamed disregard for human life displayed by our detractors and I hope and pray that somehow the general public will comprehend and wake up to the following analysis: If Ricky Rodriguez was capable of brutally stabbing and killing an innocent victim, if others in the circle of our detractors are capable of speaking of physical violence against the members of our missionary community and treat this tragedy with the coldness and hard-heartedness of what you would expect of a serial killer then what sort of a conscience would keep them from blatantly lying and making up false accusations against our community? Think about that next time you’re sitting in front of the T.V. and some sensationalist program comes on spraying the typical but oh so juicy “cult stories”. Think about that next time you pick up the New York Times with the title “Murder and Suicide Reviving Claims of Child Abuse in Cult” (Ooooh, there goes the “cult” word again. How’s that for an eye-catcher?).

Look, the truth is a very different story. I have authority to say this statement on what is the truth because I was also born and raised in “The Family International”. As far as I know the reporter Laurie Goodstein, who wrote the above-mentioned article in the NYT, never visited or lived in any of our communities. I challenge her, along with her distinguished journalist colleagues, to not only interview the “more than a dozen people who grew up in the cult” (Boy, do you guys just love that word….) who speak of the supposedly “horrible treatment” received while in our community but to interview at least a fraction of the several hundred young people who are happy, fulfilled and presently living in our missionary communities. I challenge you to not only cite the abuse stories fed to you by our detractors, but to cite, even if only some of the abundant real life stories of young people presently living in “The Family” who are giving their lives to somehow change for the better their part of the world. Do you dare do that? Or are those true-life stories not qualified as “eye-catching”, “attention-getter” or “lucrative” for the general public? God help the media of today for perverting the appetite of the general public creating an inordinate desire to hear and read lurid, scandalous stories with little, if any, basis on facts and the way things really are.

Here’s the way things really are in my life as a member of “The Family International”: I’m 25 years old and am a full-time professional missionary. That’s my life’s calling. I felt the distinct call of God in my heart since I was very young to do something for others. I had a very happy childhood, have felt the loving support of my parents all throughout my life, have had a good education, and have enjoyed living our community-lifestyle along with its joys and sacrifices. I consider myself fortunate to have grown up in “The Family” and to have lived the life I’ve lived till now.

I have NEVER SEEN or experienced any sort of abuse in any of the communities where I have lived and visited – and I have visited and lived in many of them throughout 3 different continents. Mistakes have been made by members of “The Family” but these mistakes are nowhere in the range of what could be classified as abuse. I looked up the synonyms of the word “abuse” and this is what I found: cruelty, ill-treatment, violence, neglect, exploitation, misuse. Reviewing these synonyms of the word “abuse” (which seems to be used so flippantly by our detractors), I can again say with certainty that I have never seen or experienced any abusive treatment take place in our communities. All I have experienced is sincere love and care shown by my parents, teachers and the other missionary members.

For a supposedly “child-abuse ridden cult”, doesn’t it seem funny to you that so many of us declare as to not having seen or experienced any sort of abuse in our missionary communities? And what do you say of the 700 children and youth of the Family that were examined by experts and not one of them was declared to have any sort of sexual, emotional or mental abuse. Won’t anyone look at these facts before signing our missionary movement off as a “dangerous cult”? Before you make that decision, I ask you to visit our communities and see for yourself what we’re like. See for yourself our happy children. Talk with them and see for yourselves that they’re bright, educated, emotionally-stable, loveable kids. Talk with us (the supposed “abused kids” of “The Family”) and see that we’re productive, socially-adapted, self-confident and fulfilled young people with a vision and goal in life which is more than you can say for some of our peers in today’s society who are living lives devoid of meaning or lasting happiness. See for yourselves the truth by either visiting one of our communities (there’s nothing secretive about them – our doors are open to any sincere seeker of the truth and objective visitor) or by reading or viewing the materials we produce. How can a “horribly perverted cult” produce such “good fruit”? (Mt.7:20)

Please don’t just swallow the bait, hook and line of all the media throws out to you before truly examining the facts and having an objective mind to realize that there are always two sides to any story. Realize that most of the media have abdicated their mission to give an objective picture to their viewers or readers and have stooped to the lowest levels in order to secure a bigger audience. Realize that this distortion of the facts by the media and a small circle of detractors won’t only happen to organizations that are different from mainstream society (like us!) but that it can also happen to YOU! Think of how frustrated (to put feelings mildly) you would feel that the media wouldn’t portray a true version of the whole picture but rather derived their information from those who were trying to vilify your image and used that biased info to make a scandalous splash in order to capture more viewers. No, I don’t think you would like that very much either!
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Mt.7:12) is a quotation that should stick longer in our minds in order to enjoy a conflict-free society. And I warn those of you who are vilifying and slandering us with outright lies that you “will reap what you sow”. If you choose to continue to sow these negative seeds you will only reap negative fruit in your own lives and continue to live miserable and hate-filled lives. I pity you, for despite hardships I can say that I live a truly happy and satisfying life because I have learned to follow the simple golden rule of “loving my neighbor as myself”(Mat.22:38).

A last question that I would ask the media and the general public to ponder is this: If we’ve been so abused then how come we’re socially-adjusted individuals who not only live satisfying lives but help others find peace and satisfaction in their own lives? It sounds contradictory to me that someone who has suffered such “mental, sexual and emotional abuse” (such as “The Family” is being accused of) could be such an out-going, intellectual, altruistic, and happy human being (such as I would classify the majority of young people that I have known in “The Family” – both those who are still living in our organization as those who have left our organization to pursue other interests or careers). I’ve counseled and helped a large range of individuals that have crossed my path from confused youth to the grief-stricken, to presidents of successful companies to those of the counter-culture, and many more from the many levels and walks of life of today’s society. I have seen how a little bit of love and understanding can go a long way in someone’s life as I have extended a listening ear, a hand of help, and counsel from the precepts of the Bible. When assisting and bringing aid to those who have suffered real abuses, I see those abuses reflected in their lives by usually turning them into withdrawn, intimidated, fearful individuals. I personally do not fit that last description nor do any of “The Family’s” offspring that I have seen and known.
Thankfully, there is always hope for those who have suffered real abuse as love can wash away the past hurts and help them start anew. And yet I ask the public: If you are sincerely concerned for those who have been abused then turn your eyes away from us – for we are not abused – and turn them towards those who are truly suffering abuses in everyway and join us in our efforts to ease their sadness and pain.

I continue to pray that the truth will be revealed clearly to all those who sincerely pursue it.

Sincerely, Ariana