By Gentle S. Seaman-Bixler a.k.a. Sherri

My given name is Gentle Joy Seaman-Bixler. (Understandably, my nickname is Sherri.) I was born into the Family in Dec. 1977 in Jamaica, West Indies to a wonderful mother and father. I have spent all of my 27 years as a missionary. Most of my childhood was spent in Ecuador, South America; my travels then took me to Peru, Mexico, the US, Ghana, and Botswana. I am married to a wonderful man and have three small children.

Honestly, my world was shattered when I heard of the murder of Angela Smith – more precisely, when I heard who had done it, and how. I grew up knowing of Ricky and his sister, and felt very close to them, almost like they were part of my personal family. I loved them as I loved David Berg, and as I love their mother. So it was like finding out that my own brother had murdered an innocent woman in cold blood, because he wanted to harm ME. Yes, that’s what it really amounts to, because in harming The Family he is harming me – a girl he never met, with sweet children he never got to see, and a life he obviously never saw the value of. Yes, my world was shattered – by Ricky, and by the poisonous tongues of those he associated with and listened to.

I have to say that the knife that was already in my heart was twisted by a merciless hand when I saw and heard the media take this heart-breaking situation and report their twisted version of it. In my mind’s eye, I see an innocent, helpless woman, who loved Ricky, with multiple knife wounds in her body that he inflicted. I see blood. I see pain. I see hate. My God, have we become so callous? Can we not see that it was a crime? Can we not report it as such?

“He was abused” they say. As if the word “abused” absolves him. I will deal with that subject in a minute, but let me indulge them. How many people in the world today have suffered abuse at the hands of their parents, or relatives, or teachers? How many suffer it at the hands of society, of discrimination?

I would venture to say, millions. Yet, how many stabbing murders do we hear of? Relatively, very few.

I believe in God. I believe in a personal, caring God. I believe He sees what we suffer, and He has promised that “His grace is sufficient.” We are resilient. We can rise above our circumstances. We are not animals. God has given us the majesty of choice, so no one and nothing can dictate our attitude to us. We decide that for ourselves. This is proven by the millions of men and women who have suffered real abuse at some point in their lives, and instead of becoming murderers – as they would have us believe is a natural consequence – have become upstanding members of society, good Christians, loving parents. God is Love. God is God. It is possible.

On to the subject of abuse: I never lived with Ricky, his mother, or his stepfather. But I have spent a lifetime in an environment permeated by the teachings of God and Ricky’s parents, and have enjoyed the guidance of their writings as a comforting, ever-present light to follow from my earliest memory.

I speak from my own 27 years as a full-time member of The Family: I have never witnessed a single act of child abuse, be it sexual, emotional, or physical. I have never had a friend tell me of a specific act of abuse that happened to them – and I have had many, many friends. I am told I am easy to confide in. Whether or not this true, I am certain that over all this time spent living in many different communities across the globe, I would have heard of maybe one such incident if The Family were indeed the evil, dangerous cult they make us out to be. (I am not saying there were never any incidences. I understand that before guidelines were in place, there were a few. I am speaking of my personal experience.)

But, in my opinion, to say “There is no child abuse in The Family” – and give that as my reason for raising my children in it is absurd. “It’s as if your host asked you your opinion of the meal and you said, “Well, it wasn’t poisonous.” Yes, but was it tasty? Did it have a good consistency? What about the color and presentation? The absence of danger does not in itself indicate superiority.

And superiority is what I want for my children. Like most parents, I want them to grow up in a superior environment, with happy, well-adjusted peers, loving and caring adults, healthy diets, exciting experiences, academic excellence, a sense of self-worth, good work ethic, and a strong set of beliefs and morals. I want them to feel close to and deeply loved by us, their parents. I want them to feel important and respected. And, because this is what I experienced in my childhood, I have chosen to do my best to raise my children the same way, in a community of The Family.

This is why, when my first son was born and I experienced that surge of love new mothers feel as I looked at his tiny, sleeping head on my breast, my only thought was, “God, give me the strength to give him the same childhood I had.”

You see, the meal wasn’t only delicious, it was out of this world. And, thank God, I have the recipe.

Sherri is a second-generation member of The Family International