By Érica Rocha de Lemos (27 years old, Brazil)

My name is Érica; I first met the Family in 1997 and have been living as a full time missionary for the Family International since 2002.

After hearing about the news of the recent happenings with Angela and Ricky, and seeing how things are being approached I felt in my heart that I should say a bit about my life in the Family International and how it has been one of the best moments in my life, and all that is being said in relation to how Angela’s murder and Ricky’s suicide is connected to what certain ex-members of the Family International are saying about Ricky’s previous life in the Family.

Unlike many of the young people in the Family International I was not born in the group. I came to know Jesus and His love through faithful missionaries, who began working at the university I studied architecture in, 8 years ago, through one of their musical shows. I felt the love of Jesus in them, and thus began what I would come to call my journey to find the “real vocation I was called to”. Five years went by from the time I met the group, until the moment I decided to follow the call to be a missionary, and dedicate my life to others. During those five years I was able to see clearly what it meant to live for love and others and not for yourself, through the sample which I saw in the missionaries I was in contact with from the Family International. It also became increasingly obvious to me that in the world I was living in there was more and more of a “look out for number one” spirit, with each one only looking out for themselves.

So throughout those years I searched for what I wanted to do with my life, deciding whether I should graduate and pursue a career as an architect, or whether I should dedicate my life to the service of others, through missionary work. And I can certainly say that one of the factors that brought me to that decision was seeing the sample of our children. Even before I reached my final decision I had the opportunity of seeing the day-to-day life of a child raised in the Family, and seeing how they behaved in relation to the other members of the house is something I had never seen in any family I knew up till then. Aside from being extremely loving. The educational level of children in the Family International is much higher, when compared to children who live in the “system” and are the same age. The fact that every member in the home is directly responsible for the children, whether they are “theirs” or not, creates the atmosphere of one family. And I can say that when I saw this sample it gave me more conviction of one day raising my own children this way.

It was not an easy decision for me, because I liked the idea of becoming a professional and working as an architect, even using my profession to help others (even helping the missionaries I knew) but what really weighed the most when I made my decision was the fact that as a missionary I had finally found happiness and satisfaction.

I’m not saying that everyone in the world should become a missionary in order to find their vocation in life, but I know that it worked for me. I know it isn’t a lifestyle for everyone, & I think its great that those who feel better pursuing careers & other professions in companies, businesses or whatever it is, do so. But it’s most definitely absurd to say that someone’s life or the attitudes of a man who took another human’s life and then their own is because of his being raised in a atmosphere of love and mutual comprehension; because all of us in our own lives go through difficulties, tests and trials, whether we are or not missionaries.

Some can even go as far as saying that my choice to be a missionary is because our life of faith is easier then having to spend hours at a computer, designing houses or apartments blocks, just so that I would be able to pay the bills at the end of the month. My life easy?! The life of a missionary is definately not easy, but it is definately the happiest I have come across. If it weren’t having a positive effect on my life, my friends and family would not be supporting my decision.

And to those who do not agree with or support my decision, please, at least respect my decision to serve others and help them find the same happiness I have found in being a fulltime missionary in the Family International.