My name is Lilia P.,

After learning of the tragic events and responses in the media I felt the need to offer my sympathy and prayers to the loved ones and friends affected by this situation., I would also like to lend a say in response to the hype and assumptions surrounding our ‘abusive childhood’ in hopes others (as in those who want to hear all the angles) can REALLY hear all the angles.

I’m 20 years old , born and raised in “The Family”. I’m now happily married, contently settled outside of the Family, busily working in childcare and enrolled in a local college (strangely sounds like moving on.) I have studied and earned a diploma in Early Childhood Education and from what I know and have experienced is that myself, my 10 younger siblings, and every classmate I’ve grown up with in the Family has had and continues to have, every single basic need met, not to mention the most love and proper care any child in the world could hope for.

Today, I had children in my center dropped off by their parents at 7:30 am and picked up 6:00pm later, alternatively, the children in “The Family” grew up with the ability to see, interact, and learn from our parents almost every hour of the day which, by the way ,is THE ‘ ideal’ in even secular books. So I find it impossible to swallow the notion that we (as children in the Family) were regularly being mistreated and wronged.

At 17 I was able to visit and explore South Africa with a good friend (who also in the 9 years of knowing her had had an almost idyllic childhood). We participated in several Humanitarian Aid Trips, Fundraising events, and regular missionary duties like preaching the gospel. We landed there with NO background information or clue of whom we were staying with, but because they were ‘Family members’ we knew could trust them! Needless to say, we CHOSE to stay there for a YEAR (emphasis on chose) with ALL our needs met! And no we weren’t given food rations…(I actually gained weight).

When I chat with 17 year olds out here, they would DIE to have the opportunity to ‘back pack’ overseas. This clearly shows my upbringing is not ‘disadvantaged’ but rather envied by most young people who know what freedom and a healthy teenage life really is.

I left the Family 2 years ago only because the lifestyle required me to be UNselfish and to truly give of my time and care for others. Unfortunately I wanted to live a different way, a.k.a. more selfish you can say, but I don’t resent the Family for my differences! On the contrary! I respect and admire all those who are still in the Family, working to make this world a better place.

My parents have supported me in every decision I’ve made. They even took my husband (non family member) and I in their home for 6 months while we worked to move out of Japan. But I wasn’t surprised one bit, I knew they would be there for us because through my whole life I’ve been showed time and time again I could rely on my mum and dad, and the adults in other “Family” homes as well.

I can go on and on but I shouldn’t need to. My angle is pretty damn obvious, I can fully say that I and every friend I’ve ever had in the Family (and they were many) have led wonderful, nurturing lives in the Family. I personally have nothing but good memories to speak of, (doubt it?) Chuck me on a polygraph test, I guarantee I’d be saying all these words again

Lastly, My sincere condolences to Angela and Ricky’s family and friends during this time. You are all in my prayers.

Lilia is a second-generation former member of The Family International