By Tuchi Spencer

I am a twenty-five-year-old second generation member of The Family International, born and raised as a part of this missionary organization. I knew and lived with Ricky Rodriguez and Angela Smith, both at different times throughout the years of 1999 and 2004.

Angela Smith was a dear friend of mine whom I loved and respected. Her vivaciousness, giving nature, spontaneity, and zestfulness in life lightened even the darkest of days. Her spiritedness and tender ways have left her smile as a permanent feature in my memory. I will always treasure the memory of her. Her death came as a shock, especially to know that it came at the hand of a man I had also called my friend.

It is hard for me to talk about Ricky Rodriguez in light of this recent tragedy, but for the sake of presenting my side of the story, I want it to be known that Ricky was my friend. I lived in the same community with him while he was still a part of The Family International. He had a fun-loving nature, was thoughtful, intriguing, and intelligent. During the time I lived with him, he never once suggested that he was abused—psychologically, emotionally, much less sexually.

The Ricky who murdered an innocent woman is a Ricky I didn’t know. Hearing Ricky’s diatribe on the video he made before taking Angela’s life was not the man who had been my friend. Rather than the loving, happy, intellectual, and considerate friend I had known, he was instead a vengeful, angry, hateful, and bitter soul. It was sad for me to see that someone I had once cared for had changed so drastically, to the point that he was almost unrecognizable to me.

I find myself angry by the attempts of a handful of antagonist former members of our group who are using this tragedy as a platform to voice their grievances, even supporting the tragic murder of a friend of mine, and suggesting that Ricky’s violent actions were justifiable because of his upbringing. They have insinuated that Ricky was the victim rather than the woman he murdered, even going as far as to blame Angela. These outrageous and unfounded accusations have made a time of grief that much harder—not only for the families of those who lost a loved one, but also for those of us who knew and loved both Ricky and Angela.

I have been concerned by the biased approach the media has taken over the last weeks in relating the story behind this tragedy. It’s disconcerting to know that my lifestyle, my choices in life, and my beliefs have been slandered, and that so far the media has given prejudiced coverage, favoring disgruntled and antagonistic former members over those of us who still remain an active part of The Family International.

The media coverage I’ve read and seen to date has given an inaccurate representation of the upbringing of the over 1,500 second-generation Family members, like myself, who have remained a part of our missionary group. I suppose sensationalism is what makes news, but how terrible when it comes at the cost of truth! I am writing with the hope that you will be able to offer the public a more factual and accurate representation of my lifestyle and history, offering fair coverage in the name of true journalism.

I have been a missionary in over 10 countries around the world, my missionary travels taking me as far north as the Arctic Circle in Siberia to the southernmost tip of Africa. My life has been filled with gratification for what I do, as I have found that there is nothing better in life than to have lent a helping hand to someone in need, and done my part to assist the struggling, poor, and oppressed people of the world.

I am the sixth child in a family of eight—all of whom were raised and educated in the Family. My seven siblings have chosen a lifestyle outside of The Family International, and I support their decision, because I believe that each person must make their own choice in life. I am not in any way angry at my brothers and sisters for choosing a life outside of the Family; in fact, I am proud of each one of them for moving on with their lives, for building on the benefits of their upbringing, and pursuing interests that bring them satisfaction in life.

I have countless friends who are also no longer a part of the Family. But simply because they are not a part of the Family does not make me despise them or reject their choices. I respect the decision of all of those who have chosen to leave the Family and pursue an alternate lifestyle, and I would likewise wish that my choices could also be respected.

I have never been abused nor have I witnessed abuse within the Family. Hundreds of Family children have been examined by social services in several countries and continents, and never once have allegations of child abuse been found valid. Our missionary organization has been taken to court several times, and we have been vindicated each time. So the question that begs to be answered in my mind is why there are those who are still making such claims? Why is the media still harping on stories that have been proved invalid?

I would like nothing more than to get on with my life of helping those in need, of putting my time and energy toward assisting people who are suffering around the world, and are desperately in need of love, hope, and care in their lives. And yet I find my life and beliefs once again dragged through the mud. What more can we do to prove that we are innocent? When will our voice be heard?

Being a part of the Family is a lifestyle, that while I was born into it, I have chosen as my own. There are those who say that second-generation members of The Family International who have remained in the group, have simply made this choice because we don’t know better. I beg to differ! I have made the choice to remain a member of our missionary organization because I love my life, and I have no regrets on the way I was raised. I have a heritage that I am proud of.

That is the truth; that is my story! Will you help my voice be heard?

Tuchi Spencer is a second-generation member of the Family International.