Hi. I’m Sonia, 27 years of age, and I was born and raised in the Family International. I have lived in Europe, South America, North America and the last 16 years of my life have been in Asia—Japan, Taiwan, and China. I don’t usually get involved in detractor-type controversies, as the truth usually speaks for itself, but right now, I feel I have to say something.

I’ve had a mixture of thoughts, feelings, and emotions since hearing about Ricky Rodriguez’s murder of Angela Smith and then taking his own life.—All of which I have trusted we will come to understand as time went on, since the Lord has promised that: “All things work together for good to them that love Him” (Romans 8:28). I was willing to move on, forgive and…maybe not forget (which is difficult to do with something of this impact), IF the story was left with its bare facts. I still believe that good will come from this, and I am still willing to forgive, but what I cannot believe is the way the media and some of our former members have taken the driver’s seat (without invitation) and like untamed horses are charging to God knows where. It may seem like a fun ride for now, but you may want to take a good look where you’re heading, or you may end up sitting in a crashed pile of lies and distortions of the truth, wishing you had considered things a little more carefully before starting in this direction in the first place.

It hurts to read what you have allowed to be written in your newspapers and said on TV about the Family. If I didn’t know any better, it would sound like I was the one living in the twilight zone, while you, instead of me, had spent the last 27 years in close proximity with my family and friends, members of the Family International. Sure maybe Daniel Roselle, Phil Sherwood (a.k.a. James Penn), and others have been a part of the Family at some point, but I don’t know them, and they certainly don’t know me, because if they did, they would know good and well that they do not speak for me or any of my friends, and I have no intention of sympathizing with their screwed up perspectives and views of the Family. Where they came up with these absurd stories, beats me. I can only guess that they have had a lot of time on their hands for self-pity, fantasizing, and repeating the word “abuse” so many times in their heads that now it appears in every other sentence they speak (perhaps a slight exaggeration here, but, hey, exaggerating seems to be in fashion these days).

If this group was only about me, I’d say bash all you want (well, even then, I’d give you a fight). But you’re talking about thousands of people who I love, admire and respect–people who are giving their lives day in and day out to serve, love, heal, care for others and sacrifice, giving up many of the comforts and pleasures of what is called a “normal” life. You’re also allowing sordid lies to be said about Karen Zerby and her husband. She is the one who has continued to motivate us, after Berg died, to “go into all the world” to tell people about Jesus, heal the brokenhearted, show compassion to those who have lost everything and are poor in spirit, feed those who are hungry, both spiritually and physically, and to pray for all those who are in need of love and comfort. And we’re here, trying our best to do all that because we’re interested in building a future, not tearing down others’ lives. If our motives were in any way selfish or conniving then why would we be giving our lives in this way?

I know you of the New York Times, LA Times, CNN TV, and others who have now picked up on this story are trying to do your job. And I sympathize with how difficult it must be to decipher a lot of what’s happened, and to understand why. It’s hard for any of us to fathom how or why someone could do the horrible things that Ricky did, and say the things he said. But from where I’m standing, I feel that: 1.) In preparing your articles and news programs, you’re not getting all sides, and even when you do, you often put a certain spin on things to make things sound and look different from what they really are. It has been evident that you tend to be partial to those who seem to have the more sensational pitch, throwing around words that will fix in your audiences’ minds long-lasting wrong impressions–words like “cult”, and horrific accusations of rampant abuse. 2.) You’re quoting some who claim to be experts about us, but 3.) Most of you haven’t even tried to contact those of us from the second generation who are actually in the Family to get our side of the story. There are thousands of us who can give you a real story. And guess what, it’s not about abuse! But maybe that’s not what some of you are looking for. However, we implore you now. Please listen to us from the Family! Stop printing the distortions and lies and hate-filled stories designed to enflame.

I have been especially sickened to hear how far you have allowed it to be said that we and our children are abused. I look at our children and think, “How could anyone say they are abused, mistreated, or not given a fair chance to life?!” They are bright, beautiful, intelligent, funny, amazing children. I am not a mother yet, but if I knew that any one of these children were abused in our group, in ANY way, either emotionally, mentally, or physically, I would do all I could to put an end to it. Believe me! I can say with all my heart that if I get a chance to be a mother, I will do my best to make sure that my children receive the education, care, attention, love, and opportunities which the Family provides. The Family cultivates loving, caring, outgoing, friendly, intelligent, beautiful personalities—not to mention strong characters ready to face the challenges of a missionary life. If you don’t believe all this, come see for yourself.

Yes, the Family isn’t for everyone. We do have a few beliefs that seem to go down sideways with some people. We admit that we’re unique, but we LIKE being who we are. Plus there is nothing wrong with it. You have heard how each and every accusation that’s being said now has gone through courts and legal systems. It’s been proven over and over that we are not a group who abuses our children. Now, some are trying to take other routes, trying to use the media to spread their distortions and to stop our work, blaming us and our lifestyle for the problems of a few. Well, here’s a piece of information you might be interested in: We aren’t easily intimidated. If we seemed quiet, that we liked to mind our own business, or that we were easy to bully before, well sirs and madams, you have woken up the dragon. We will not be silent. We will not sit idly by while a few vicious people spew out all this garbage about us. We will not be easily deterred. I probably should be talking in first person here, but I do have a lot of faith in the “we”. I know my brothers and sisters and we are of a high caliber. We will keep standing up for what we believe in. Of that you can be sure!

Well, I will move to first person now. I love this life. I love The Family, all of it. Most of all, I love Jesus, and that is why I am here. He called me to give my life to serve others in this way and I (as in Sonia) answered. I am so thankful for the fact that He chose me to be born into this ‘peculiar’ group. I find great joy and satisfaction in serving people. There have been times in my life when I thought of leaving my calling as a missionary to do something that might have a more pronounced impact on this world—like becoming a lawyer, a humanitarian, or try to ‘save the world’ in some “big” way. Why I never pursued those dreams is because, after thinking about it, I truly feel that my calling is to help the world by reaching one heart at a time with love and truth. Sure, you have your media, you have your impact; you have your great big audiences, and maybe you can influence more people in one shot, but if I can have a positive impact on just one life at a time, I believe that will accomplish more than all the big TV audiences believing all the twisted stories in the world. While you continue to spread these horrible stories, tarnish the memory of a beautiful soul such as Angela Smith, run in circles with a bunch of lies, we will continue to speak the truth. We will continue to do our job. And somehow, I just know we will get there. I don’t mean that I believe you’re not interested in the truth. I pray you are. But even if the truth is not published or reported by others, we will do it any way we can.

To those few former members who are so consumed with the idea of destroying the Family, those who have brought irony to the words “moving on”, and who are speaking against us, I ask: Who are you kidding? What are you after? Sympathy? For what? For not being able to get your life together? Why do you feel you have to stoop this low? What do you feel you will gain through all this? Perhaps a little fame or popularity, maybe even a little sympathy, and maybe even a false sense of justice? Even those of you who I don’t know, I pray for you. I pray that you will find the happiness that you’re seeking, not by seeking hurt and tearing down, but by truly moving on as others have. There are so many awesome and great model citizens who have left the Family and have done fabulously. I would say that mainstream society is blessed to have them, and we are proud of them and happy for them.

To those of you who are interested in reporting about the Family, please, show yourself willing to give me and the many others like me a voice? It’s been disturbing to read all that you have written. Your articles have literally been like a slap in the face. Being a Christian, maybe I should turn the “other cheek”. But instead, I would like to say, “Stop slapping me, thank you!” I have done nothing wrong to these people who are calling the Family abusive. And those who are being so vehemently accused and defamed have done nothing to deserve such treatment.

We are disciples of Jesus, and our main objective is to do what He has commissioned us to do. He himself said that ‘all who would live godly would suffer persecution’. So I’m not too surprised. The thing that has really ticked me off is the way that this murder-suicide of Ricky Rodriguez has been used for selfish motives and twisted by those who for years have been saying that they’re interested in only one thing—to bring down the Family.

I can’t imagine how Angela Smith’s family must feel right now. The pain, sorrow, and great loss they are going through. My heart also goes out to Karen Zerby (Mama) who just lost a son. Ricky may not have held her in high esteem during the last couple of years of his life, but she loved her son. How do I know this? Because she has showed it in her letters to us. She hasn’t boasted about the care, attention and love she gave to him, but she has simply asked us to pray for him, despite his threats to do her harm. What better sign of a mother’s love is there than that? We are sorry that those who are affected by this tragedy are needing to go through this demented publicity. We wish they didn’t have to be faced with all this.

I haven’t focused so much here on my upbringing, but it goes without saying that it’s been more than I could ever have asked for, and certainly free from all and any abuse that some of you have mentioned (except from the abuse I now feel from some of you). There have been some difficult times in my life, but I held on, received the Lord and my family and shepherd’s encouragement, and things turned out better than I had anticipated they would. The trials and hard times have made my life richer, more complete, and have strengthened my resolve to keep serving Jesus no matter what happens. Through all this, my love for Jesus and my desire to help make this world a better place have been reinforced. When I see how cold and hateful this world is becoming, it makes me want to do all I can to keep loving, spreading hope, and fighting for the truth. I am proud to be living for Jesus and to be serving Him in one of the greatest places in the world—The Family!

You can’t keep a good man down, he’ll bounce back on his feet.
Just when you think you got him, you’ll find out he can’t be beat.

Sonia P., 27, is a second-generation member of the Family International.