(Sent to Michaela F. Rieli, Brazil, by Martin Puckey (19), USA, former second generation member of The Family International)
(Note: Posted with permission)

First of all, let me apologize for the nerve I apparently struck. And that is not sarcastic in any way. I could have and should have chosen my tone a bit more tactfully but I want you to know that I in no way whatsoever was attempting to knock you or the Family. Like I said, I have no regrets or bitterness or ill will towards the Family in any way whatsoever. I was brought up in a community full of love and kindness and with people who truly cared about me. Yes, like you said, you can see bad in just about anything if you choose to focus on it, but I am not decieved into thinking that the few occasions where things weren’t as great as they could have been were any worse then the experiences which everybody has at times in their childhood.

Nobody has a perfect childhood, and the good parts completely overtake the bad in my opinion. I have very fond memories of my upbringing and my decision to no longer be in the Family was not prompted by hatred or ill will, merely a realization that it wasn’t for me and I wanted more [by which I mean different things] out of life. I feel that as long as I am living my life in the right frame of mind, and I am not harming anyone, but trying to make the lives of people I meet just a little better for having known me, then I am still cool with God. I believe that in order for people to respect me and my decisions, I must first respect them and theirs. So I do not think that the way I think and what I believe is right for anybody but myself. Everyone has a right to their own life and I am not going to discriminate. I am proud of you and your choices.

About the whole Ricky thing, I really will only add that life is way too short for bullshit like that. I feel bad for everyone involved, regret the waste of life, and hope that their friends and family [especially his wife, because I know her and honestly, no matter what, she is a very nice person inside] can get on with living their lives with minimal sadness. I am glad to hear [read] how you will stand up for what you believe in and not take crap from nobody, even though I was on the recieving end of it. I have nothing but respect for someone like yourself who actually BELIEVES what they believe and isn’t afraid to defend it. I truly hope you don’t feel that I was attacking or detracting the Family in any way.

All I want is for everybody to get along. THAT is something that I BELIEVE. I think that if people can just put petty differences aside and just try to love each other and help each other through this thing we call life, all the problems of the world would disappear. I don’t want to waste even a moment of precious life being upset or angry or bitter about anything. And yeah, I’ll admit, I’m not perfect in living up to my high ideals.

My comment on the gap of pride between the Family and “the systemites” was based on me being a bit upset at how some [some that is] individuals who are in the Family do look down on those who aren’t, or even if they aren’t aware of it, they sure make the person on the recieving end feel it. I was wrong to put that label on the entire Family, as an entire group cannot be held responsible for each or its parts. I just don’t think that because I am not answering to God’s “highest calling” as you put it, makes me any less important in His eyes. God loves everybody, all of mankind, the sinners and the sinless alike [well, no one is sinless, but you know what I mean]. I don’t think He is so petty as to pick favorites. If you aren’t against Him, then you are for Him. I am not against Him.

Anyhow, sorry for the rambling on, I’ve probably repeated myself throughout this whole thing. The more I try to explain how I feel about something the more I go in circles. I hope you got the gist of it. I do love you lots and you will always be in my thoughts, no matter what paths our lives take us. Take care of yourself and your kiddo.

Martini