By Elaina M. McNair, 18 years

Opinions. Everyone’s got one, and it seems that many exercise their right to broadcast them, with a vengeance.

I wouldn’t be writing this if it weren’t for the bizarre and downright alarming opinions that have been voiced recently. I generally consider myself a benign, non-confrontational person … but some of the allegations and false generalizations which are being leveled against our group, and hence my little family, and myself, make me just a little bit hopping mad. Whatever happened to good old fashioned morals? I’ve been hearing people say murder and suicide are justifiable, some even go so far as to say called for. And other people are listening to them. For obvious reasons, this frightens me beyond measure.

Here’s how I figure: If people with disturbed frames of mind such as the above are permitted to put their ideas out for the general public to mull over, perhaps I could add what I think, for whatever it’s worth.

First of all, regarding the tragedy which took place on January 8th, (which is what stirred up all the opinionated rhetoric in the first place) I would like to make a plea to any and all members of the media who may write on this topic in the future:

Please be man or woman enough to pause for a moment and see past whatever potential sensationalism you may spot in this story and strive to portray a truthful, balanced account of what happened. Consider the lives and hearts of the mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers and friends who are being cheated out of a normal time of grief for their loved ones by what amounts to hearsay and fabrications.

There. Now even if no one hears or listens to me, at least I’ve gotten it off my chest.

About this vocal minority of vitriolic former members, I don’t know about anyone else, but I for one, using plain discernment and common sense, would tend to be wary of those whose energy and zest for life stems from bitterness and anger.

Why do these people not find something productive to do with their lives?

Do they realize the loss that so many people in need, people with genuine life problems like war, famine, poverty, etc. who are being helped by The Family would experience if these apostates’ plans to destroy us were actualized?

In this appallingly me-first society, precious few are willing to sacrifice their time and energy to make a difference in someone else’s life. Think of what the world stands to lose.

I am a member of the Family, and I am proud to be counted as one. I have chosen to be here of my own volition. I am happy to be here, where I am serving God to the best of my ability, I am fulfilled, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Cliché? I don’t care. It’s the honest-to-God truth.

Wait. Now comes the part where they pull out their big gun: “She couldn’t possibly want to be in this sinister cult! She must have been…BRAINWASHED!!”

Please. Been there, debunked that.

Without a doubt, our detractors will try to resuscitate the long dead “brainwashing” party line. How else could they possibly explain the thousands who choose to remain in our group or the truth that they themselves spent several, if not many, happy fulfilled years in it as well.

It is a fact that the term itself, (however catchy it may be) has no respectable standing in any scientific or psychiatric circles, and has been discounted by reputable academics, more times than I care to number.

Like any member of any group, from the Girl Scouts, to the military, to Alcoholics Anonymous, though I must comply with the regulations of my respective association, I am here because of my own choice. That means no one is forcing nor coercing me. I am free to leave The Family whenever I please.
So, if no one is twisting my arm, and I’m not brainwashed, why would I stay in a place of “horrific mental, physical, and sexual abuse and trauma”?
“Why” indeed.

Which begs the question: Why would I or any other second-generation Family Member with a shred of decency subject their children to the same? Ten months ago, my husband and I became parents to a precious little girl. I find it difficult to describe the intensity of the fierce, protective love I feel towards her. We have our peace-loving, nurturing Christian communities to thank for the fact that we don’t have much from which we must protect her.

If The Family were such a place of heinous abuses as some would paint it to be, our Family would leave forthwith. Come to think of it, we would have exercised our right to leave long before we married or had a child in such a place. Come to think about it more, my very own loving parents would not have raised me in such a place … must I mention that they themselves would not have lived in such a place to begin with? Etc, etc.

God has granted me, and every person in the world, freedom of choice, as an expression of His love for us.

I choose to be a Family Member. I choose to raise my child and any future children in The Family. I choose to be influenced by the Bible, and by a fellowship of people whose goal is to better the world with the message of God’s love. I choose not to be influenced by those whose goal is to destroy all that is dear to me by means of their hatred, spite, and violence.

These are my opinions and my choices. Nobody is holding a gun to my head whilst I type. Thank you.

Elaina M. McNair is a second-generation member of The Family International