Name: Kiyomi Ito
Age: 24
Location: Japan

To those who have heard of the recent incident, I pray that you will find the peace in your heart to respond to this sad event in the right manner, and not let any anger or prejudice hinder you from offering your support and sympathy to the loved ones of these who’ve met their untimely end. Perhaps it would also be a good time to ponder the effect each of us has on others, through our words and actions. –Whether our attitudes and the things we say reflect a positive stance in moving forward in life, or whether they reflect our seeking to place the blame and rationalize our own negativity.

How one can choose to malign the victim and instead victimize the murderer is beyond me. No justification or psychobabble can excuse the tragic events of an innocent life snuffed out before her time and the grief caused to her family. I find it hard to comprehend the perception of some individuals who adamantly maintain that their upbringing in the Family is to blame for every disappointment, misfortune and hardship in their lives. Several of my friends and members of my family have chosen a different lifestyle than the one in which we were raised, and they are secure, well-adjusted individuals, successfully working towards their personal goals in life. Why should the few who choose to live in the miseries of their past, be it real or imagined, be heard any more than those of us who are satisfied with our lives?

I take offense to the claim that “so many of us” have been abused and molested. If this even had an inkling of truth to it, wouldn’t the authorities have been aware and taken action by now, and have all the “thousands of abused children” in permanent state custody? Since this ludicrous notion has been legally disproved time and again, it would be good to stop rehashing outdated tabloid headlines and realize the truth. We have been and continue to be open to scrutiny – why not go to those who have done extensive studies on our group on a professional level, to determine if The Family is indeed a safe environment for children to be raised? I’m certain that their findings will confirm what the real “thousands” of us have had to repeat numerous times, that we wouldn’t be here in The Family if we were not convinced of the trust, devotion and care that defines what The Family stands for.

Having been raised in The Family since a young age, I am confident that through my unique upbringing I have been afforded many advantages that I would not have benefited from, had I been raised in a secular home. I have often reflected on how my life would have been, if my family had not decided to become missionaries. This clearly puts things in perspective for me, as when I meet old childhood friends and people that I used to know before our life in The Family, it’s evident that we’ve been given so much more—from the skills that we’ve learned, the languages we speak, to the places we’ve traveled. We are able to appropriately relate to and socialize with people of all ages and walks of life, due to our experiences in evangelizing; cheering up those in need of encouragement, and growing up with the mindset that there is always something we can do to help others. This is a unique privilege of our upbringing that we who have been raised in that caring atmosphere for our whole lives often take for granted.

I’ve been told numerous times by friends outside our organization that they envy our lifestyle and upbringing—the fact that there is always someone we can depend on, someone to talk to when we need a listening ear or advice; how our environment is structured to provide the most care and consideration for every aspect of our well-being, be it our health, safety or emotional development. We have peace, contentment, camaraderie and a mutual respect that comes from knowing that we are each doing our best to live for others and make a positive difference in this world. How anyone could not wish for these things for their children seems almost illogical.

For the past several years, I was involved in a volunteer project in West Africa, as part of the administrative team managing a school for the benefit of the local underprivileged children. Our intent was to establish the school according to The Family’s standard, which included giving seminars on various topics such as childcare, communicating with children, the importance of early education, and child safety. Without my background and skills acquired in The Family, I would not have been able to cope with the myriad of responsibilities, ranging from counseling and interacting with the local community and parents of varied religions and cultures, to teaching a class of 18 pre-schoolers, and helping to supervise a teachers’ training program. Many visitors to the school marveled at the level of communication between the teachers and children, and some were surprised that the children were so personable and well-behaved without the constant threat of punishment, such as they were used to seeing in regular schools. This is simply because The Family puts an emphasis on communicating with, praying with and helping the child to understand the consequences of their behavior. How this can be twisted to illustrate The Family’s “abusive methods”, I can’t imagine.
I have no regrets about the way I was raised—I only wish everyone were afforded a chance to experience the same care, concern and love that we in The Family are privileged with. I wouldn’t change my upbringing for the world. You can do what you want with your life, but don’t hinder us from living our own.

Kiyomi Ito is a second-generation member of The Family International