I’m 28, a second generation adult, who has lived in the Family those 28 years, and I am proud of it. I’m not a writer, neither one of many words, but I feel the need to “say my piece", just as all have a right to. One more voice speaking the truth creates one more opportunity for someone to see the truth.

My first feelings when hearing the news about Ricky and Angela’s deaths was sadness; not saddened to tears, but saddened to anger, if you can imagine what that means. I am not one that usually gets upset about things, but that sure did, and mostly because of the fact that some try to bring up false accusations on us once again, because of this incident.

I want to now try to paint a positive picture, of the wonderful life I have lived in the Family, compared to the “black nightmare” as some have put it. I can’t say enough how happy I am today because of the love and care that I have felt in the Family, not only that, but the training and the input I have received, which have been monumental in making me what I am today, allowing me to do what I do today. I grew up with the best parents I could have asked for, along with my 8
other brothers and sisters. I have by no means “arrived” to a perfect state, but I feel with all my heart that I am satisfied with my life, and why? Because a life lived for others, caring about others, thinking about others and living for Jesus is one that is worth more everything you could have in the world.

And why am I still here now? It’s not because of my parents or some intimidation tactic, but it’s for the only reason that I love Jesus, and this is the best place that aids me in living for Him. That’s my goal in life and what I am willing to die for. The Family is the place where I can freely live & choose what I would like to do and
what I would like to become.

I personally know some who have left our group and are now trying to pick fights with us. Sad thing is, they were nice people once upon a time, just like everyone else in the Family today. They loved Jesus and wanted to do their best to live for Him and others. What’s so wrong with that? And what’s so complicated about that? Seems to happen when they mingle with the negative crowds, that they come out with made-up stories and even horrendous lies about how “dangerous” the Family is, or how terrible it was when they were a part of it.

Now I don’t know Ricky personally, but I have heard from many of my friends who do, that he was just “one of us". He chose to live in the Family just like we do, because we want to serve Jesus and others. Only when he made the decision that he wanted a change and wanted to try something different in life, is when he became “screwed up". Not that the change was bad. I have 5 of my own brothers and sisters who have also chosen to leave the Family and do something else in life,
but I respect them for letting me live my life, and I respect that they are living descent lives as well. They have every right to do what they want to do, and guess what? so do I! And of course, I still love them to bits.

But it’s the fact that some try to keep us from living our lives that gets me mad. That’s what Ricky was doing and I bet he didn’t even know why he was doing it? I sometimes feel sorry for the guy, but what he did to dear Angela still makes me very upset. Deep inside it’s not him that I hate, it’s the wrong that he chose to do.

He and other ex-members were happy and content with their lives while in the Family, doing something positive to help others. Mixing with the “Moving On” crowd who seem to be doing everything except moving on, seems to skew memories severely. I am now looking back at my many years in the Family, and all the
privileges I’ve experienced because of the way we live and because of the way we raise our children and live communally, share our belongings when there is a need etc. So to come out with some of these “child abuse” or other horrible stories, once again, after proven wrong and false over and over, just makes you wonder where
those people are coming from? They must know nothing about us, or are trying their hardest to forget how it was, when they were in the Family? It seems they paint an opposite picture of true reality. Where are their minds? Or are they out of their minds?

I don’t really know all the negative things that have been said, and to be honest, I don’t want to know anymore. It’s a waste of my time, that I could be spending doing useful things. I lived 10 years of my life working and caring for children, and I know for a fact that we have the best education and training you could find. I’m the proof of it for one, and two, that’s the place were my husband and I will raise and teach our own kids. There’s no question in my mind on that.

Yes, there were mistakes made in the past, I’m sure, but who doesn’t make mistakes? That’s part of life. We all live and learn. Humanity tries and sometimes fails, but then keeps trying, that’s when they succeed.

So all that to say; please stop trying to mess up our lives with your distortions, and move on to have some success in your own life. What’s your future in this anyway? What’s the joy you gain by upsetting our lives? I feel so sorry for you.

I don’t claim perfection, in myself, nor in the Family, but at least we try to make the world a better place for the sake of others.

And we’ll do our best to continue helping others see the true side. So please quit wasting yours and our time. Give us a chance to live our lives contentedly, by minding your own business. I’d very much appreciate that. Thank you.

Agnes De Bezenac is a second-generation member of The Family International