From Amie O., 26, second-generation member of the Family International.

My name is Amie, I’m 26 years old, and I just wanted to say a few words about the recent Ricky and Angela murder/suicide “nightmare.”

It’s unbelievable! I knew both Ricky and Angela, so it’s pretty close to home. Ricky was always a very nice guy, and I liked him a lot. I lived in the same Home with him and his wife—and Ricky’s mother—for over two years, between June 1997 and early 2000. He was a nice, kind, friendly guy. But sometime after he left and apparently got into contact with a small group of people who seem to have a vendetta against The Family, he started speaking against his mother and against the Family, and getting into violence and all kinds of horrible things.

Here is an excerpt of a note that I sent to Ricky’s mother in 2002, after Ricky had started threatening to kill her and “take down” The Family:

“I wanted to write you, because I have been very saddened to hear some of Ricky’s stories about you and Peter, about the Family, and even what he has indirectly said about me, one of his former friends. Because I lived with him almost the entire time he and Elixer were living with you, it’s shocking to hear the things he’s now saying. He’s talking about the same time period I know. I was there. I lived in the same house, ate the same food, participated in the same activities, and saw the same things he did.

“I can’t believe the things Ricky is saying about you. You have always been loving, kind, understanding and accepting of me, and I’ve seen you treat others the same. You’ve treated me like your own daughter in many ways, and right from the beginning I’ve always felt accepted—not because of what you could get out of me, but just because you loved me. If you had wanted someone you could have gotten more mileage from, someone you could “manipulate,” someone who would have been more skilled in what you needed, you would have found someone else. But instead you had patience with me, teaching me what I needed to know to help you, and always believed that I could reach my potential. I’ll always treasure the times I’ve been with you, what I’ve learned from you, and the love I’ve felt.

“I saw the love you had for Ricky, too; you spent time with him, you talked with him, you walked with him, you invited him to your room for dinner with you, and so much more. He always looked happy to see you, to be around you, and I could tell that you loved him. To tell you the truth, I often wondered what it would have been like to be in his shoes, to be able to spend special time with you—or to have the blessing of living with my mum again, and being able to spend special time with her. And to know that he now says that he never felt any love from you … I just can’t do the subject justice!

“I was happy to get to know and live with Techi, too, and during the time I lived with her, and in my recent communications with her, I’ve known her to be happy, well-adjusted, smart, friendly, and gifted. She’s a skilled teacher and a good mother, which is something I admire in her; just seeing Trevor and how smart and talented he is, is proof of this. She had the same upbringing, opportunities, and education as Ricky. She’s happy and working to achieve her goals in life, while it seems Ricky has chosen to look on his past very differently.

“Ricky was a good friend of mine—and even though I’m not happy with what he’s doing and the things he’s saying, I still love him. When I first came to live with you, he and Elixer were the first ones who befriended me. They invited me to do things with them, they confided in me. Ricky told me what he thought and we had a lot of good conversations. Never once did he tell me, or even hint, of some of the things he is now saying. I knew he had a difficult time with some doctrines, and especially prophecy, but I never once felt that he didn’t love you, or didn’t feel your love for him.

“He also always spoke very highly of Grandpa (Father David). He would talk with a big smile on his face about the happy memories of his childhood—the fun things he did with Grandpa, the things Grandpa taught him, and how much he loved him. So to hear him now saying such opposite things, even about Grandpa, is shocking, and I just can’t make sense of it. He also always spoke in very high regard about Peter, that he was so happy he was able to marry you, and that he couldn’t think of a better person he would want to take care of you and help to lead The Family. Why does he now feel so differently?

“I don’t know much about his earlier years, because I didn’t know him or you then, but if he received as much love from you in those years of his life as I saw him receive during the years I knew him, then that to me would seem a very enviable childhood. Although I imagine you weren’t able to be with him 24 hours a day, and had others who helped you care for him, what career women these days have that luxury? Most mothers put their children in day care, school, or have babysitters (or a combination) so that they can pursue their careers. You had a career too, but unlike most working mothers, at least you were always at home, always on call, and very attuned to his needs.

“I always considered Ricky to be sociable, diplomatic, and well educated. When I was with him, I felt like I was in the presence of a smart man—certainly smarter than me in many respects. He appeared to have excellent writing, speaking, and communication skills. He knew how to express himself; he had an extensive vocabulary, and always impressed me in that way. He seemed to have an aptitude to learn, and retained most everything he heard, saw, or read. He was always a gentleman—kind, courteous, and amiable. I’m surprised that in many of the things he writes now, he uses foul language and vulgar terminology. That’s certainly not the Ricky I knew.

“I recently visited my family, and it was a special time we all enjoyed. As you know, I have nine brothers and sisters, and most of them are no longer in The Family. We are still all very close, though, and love each other. I’m thankful that we are able to respect each other’s decisions. They respect that I have chosen to be in The Family, and I respect their decisions to have chosen a different life. I appreciate almost more than anything their love and acceptance of me and what I’ve chosen to give my life to, even though they don’t agree with everything I believe in or all the doctrines or theology of the Family.

“I’m proud of all of my brothers and sisters (and stepbrothers and sisters) who have gone on to do really good things—chefs, joining the police force, architecture, photography, etc. Some of them have decided to continue their studies, and others have integrated into the work place, and seem to be excelling for the most part.

“Well, I’m getting off the subject. All that to say, I don’t understand why Ricky is saying so many untruths about you. I wish he would just get on with his life and engage in some sort of evangelistic work, winning souls and telling people about the simple love of Jesus. Or else do something worthwhile and for the good of mankind. All of the other issues, doctrines, beliefs, and all the rest, are so unimportant when it comes to what really matters. At least The Family is winning souls and witnessing. All doctrinal issues aside, we’re obeying Jesus’ call to “Go into all the world and preach the Gospel.” I wish Ricky would do the same, and I pray that he does.

“I’m praying for you. I’m sorry for the sadness the things Ricky says must bring you. Having a child of my own now, I can imagine how crushing it would be if I were in your place. But I know the truth. I know you and Peter are sincere, loving, and most of all dedicated to Jesus and helping The Family to fulfill our mission. I’m thankful for you, and I’m praying for your health and happiness.” (End of my note to Mama.)

It’s shocking to me how Ricky changed from a nice guy to a cold-blooded murderer. It’s just unfathomable. But I guess we all have to make decisions in our lives, and sadly he definitely made some really wrong ones.

As for Angela, she was a wonderful woman, and such a kind soul—always giving and sharing. She didn’t deserve this one bit, and if it weren’t for my belief in Heaven and knowing she’s in a better place, I’d probably feel very sad and bitter about the whole thing. But I know she’s probably happier now than she’s ever been before, and I know she wouldn’t want us to be sad. She was one of those people who was always smiling, always happy—sort of like a ray of sunshine in your life.

It saddens me that the some of the media and a few antagonistic apostates are using this tragedy to their own ends. I find it ridiculous that The Family has to address issues of child abuse, yet again, when we have already been through enough court cases to last us a lifetime. Believe me, I know exactly what The Family’s like, because I’ve been in it for over 26 years. If it was anything but safe, I wouldn’t be here, and I certainly wouldn’t be raising my son here. The only abuse I ever suffered as a child was when I was taken away from my parents in pre-dawn raids by the Australian authorities (department of community services) in May, 1992, along with a number of other Family children—only to be returned a week later when they found out that we were normal, well-adjusted, happy children.

I’m truly sorry for those former members from the second generation of The Family who had bad things happen to them in their childhood, and are now speaking against The Family. I can’t say if their stories are true or false, because I wasn’t there. But one thing I do know is that stuff happens in all of our lives—sometimes good and sometimes bad—and we go on. In the end, if we let the experiences make us better rather than bitter, we actually come out on top. So it seems completely illogical for these people to try and hurt the lives of hundreds of the perfectly happy Family members today, people who are actually helping people and doing good in over a hundred countries, just because of their personal troubles. How is hurting people in The Family today going to make their life any better? Are they forgetting that the Family is made up of real people, real mothers and fathers, and real children?

When thinking about the small minority who are speaking out against The Family, I’m reminded of the story in the Bible, in the Book of Acts, when Peter and the apostles were brought before the high counsel for their preaching, and the high priests “took counsel to slay them.” Then Gamaliel, a doctor of the law, said, “Take heed to yourself what ye intend to do as touching these men. … Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God” (Acts.5:34-39).

If the work of the Family was as bad as some people say it is, then it will come to nothing without anyone’s help. But since our work is good and Godly and making a difference in the world, we’re not going to be stopped. I’m sure that just as day follows night, that storm will blow over in time and the truth will be heard. And until that time, there are many dedicated and sincere individuals within the Family who know beyond a shadow of a doubt that giving our lives in service to Jesus is our lives calling, and we will go on helping others, and telling people about Jesus and His love, no matter what happens. I and my husband, for sure, will not be dissuaded. We wouldn’t want to live any other kind of life.

I think that what some people don’t understand about The Family is that it’s not about Maria David or Peter Amsterdam, or Father David before them. Our group is not about any one person, or any special group of people. It’s all about serving Jesus and others. It’s all about personal faith and conviction. Each of us has a personal relationship with and connection with Jesus. He speaks to us every day. So, no matter what happens to the structure or leadership of The Family, everyone I know is going to keep on living the way they do today. We’re going to keep on witnessing and doing what we can to make the world a better place.

The Family is different. We’re not mainstream. There’s no doubt about that. But there’s nothing wrong with being different; in fact, in my opinion, there’s everything right about being different. I know it’s not the life for everyone, but it’s the life for me. It feels so good to not live for a career, a house, a car, and all the frills. I know I’m privileged every time I think about Jesus, the spirit world, the afterlife, and everything spiritual that I believe in. I look at my friends within the Family and know that their support and love and care is something money could never buy. I consider my son and the safe, happy, loving life he’s going to lead for the next years of his life, and I know I couldn’t give him a better start.

I owe my dad and mum everything for my upbringing and childhood in The Family. I was never abused in any way. I had a wonderful life, a happy upbringing—and even though I had a few times that maybe weren’t that great, as every child does, those times shaped my character into what it is today. I’m sure that when my son grows up there might be some things he won’t particularly like about his life, but I’m confident he’ll know he was loved, well cared for, and given the best upbringing my husband and I could offer him.

I have no regrets and no complaints about my life—a life filled with love, happiness, true friends, a reason for living, and a religion that truly satisfies. If God had given me the choice to live any life I wished, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I have been richly blessed.

Amie is a second generation member of the Family International.