By David, 25, England.

It’s hard to find the words to write in a moment such as the one we are living together now. In a time when our emotions, lives, and values seem to have been attacked and soiled, not by Ricky, but by those who are trying to use the tragedy surrounding his end to accomplish their purpose, I was thinking to myself today, “what exactly are they after?” “they do not seem to be satisfied by apology over the hurt (if any) caused, etc…, and why do they not want in any way, shape or form to discuss things, but rather seem set on causing as much pain, suffering, abuse, (yes, that word) to anyone who seems to have found happiness in something that they could not find?” As a Christian, many verses come to mind, and many an example of things that I’m sure others have already formulated in better ways than I could. In a way, I feel anger towards these who could cause so much pain to so many innocent lives, but then almost instantly, it is replaced by sadness. I pray that somehow, all will come to terms with God and themselves, and hence, end this unnecessary agony, both in their lives and ours.

Though I was born in the Family, I spent many a year as a TSer, and lived alone with my mother, brother and sister. We were home schooled, and, to be honest, lonely. I missed the other children I used to live with. I missed doing school with them, I missed the baseball games, I missed exploring the forest, I missed always having “auntie so-and-so” or “uncle so-and-so” there in case I hurt myself, always including me in everything they did. I missed the trips into the Alps (I lived in France), the “uncle” who taught us how to fill our Bibles with cross references, and I missed going out with my friends for cake on my birthday. Living alone in a flat, I would often think back and wonder why we were no longer with those that I to this day consider my brothers and sisters.

I joined again 6 years later, and have been very happily serving the Lord and others ever since. In the past 9 years in the Family, I have been to Thailand (where I taught basic guitar and rhythm to orphans, worked in refugee camps in Bosnia, Slovenia, and Croatia, did clown shows for terminally ill children in hospitals in Paris, helped drug addicts off drugs in Amsterdam, and have had the greatest time winning souls, seeing miracles ranging from money in the bank -that I still have no idea where it came from- to exorcisms, giving bible classes and counseling, etc, etc, etc… all in all, I am fascinated by the roller coaster ride that I re-embarked on, and would not want to leave it for the world!

I honestly believe that it is just too easy to point the finger at a small group of people who are already ostracized from the main society by their alternative beliefs and lifestyle, and to feel justified about it, and all the while, it would seem almost purposefully forgetting the larger sociopolitical and historical views of society in the late 60’s and early 70’s. I mean, we are talking about bunch of hippies who believed in free love, free sex, nature, and peace above all. The movie “Flashback” comes to mind, where Free is seen on footage running around naked as a toddler. Or what about Huxley’s’ “Brave New World”

(taken from chapter three:) In a little grassy bay between tall clumps of Mediterranean heather, two children, a little boy of about seven and a little girl who might have been a year older, were playing, very gravely and with all the focused attention of scientists intent on a labor of discovery, a rudimentary sexual game.
-"Charming, charming!” the D.H.C. repeated sentimentally.
- “Charming,” the boys politely agreed. But their smile was rather patronizing. They had put aside similar childish amusements too recently to be able to watch them now without a touch of contempt. Charming? but it was just a pair of kids fooling about; that was all. Just kids.
-"I always think,” the Director was continuing in the same rather maudlin tone, when he was interrupted by a loud boo-hooing.
From a neighboring shrubbery emerged a nurse, leading by the hand a small boy, who howled as he went. An anxious-looking little girl trotted at her heels.
-"What’s the matter?” asked the Director.
The nurse shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing much,” she answered. “It’s just that this little boy seems rather reluctant to join in the ordinary erotic play. I’d noticed it once or twice before. And now again to-day. He started yelling just now …”
-"Honestly,” put in the anxious-looking little girl, “I didn’t mean to hurt him or anything. Honestly.”
-"Of course you didn’t, dear,” said the nurse reassuringly. “And so,” she went on, turning back to the Director, “I’m taking him in to see the Assistant Superintendent of Psychology. Just to see if anything’s at all abnormal.”
“Quite right,” said the Director. “Take him in. You stay here, little girl,” he added, as the nurse moved away with her still howling charge. “What’s your name?”
-"Polly Trotsky.”
-"And a very good name too,” said the Director. “Run away now and see if you can find some other little boy to play with.”
The child scampered off into the bushes and was lost to sight.
-"Exquisite little creature!” said the Director, looking after her. Then, turning to his students, “What I’m going to tell you now,” he said, “may sound incredible. But then, when you’re not accustomed to history, most facts about the past do sound incredible.”
He let out the amazing truth. For a very long period before the time of Our Ford, and even for some generations afterwards, erotic play between children had been regarded as abnormal (there was a roar of laughter); and not only abnormal, actually immoral (no!): and had therefore been rigorously suppressed.
A look of astonished incredulity appeared on the faces of his listeners. Poor little kids not allowed to amuse themselves? They could not believe it.
-"Even adolescents,” the D.H.C. was saying, “even adolescents like yourselves …”
-"Not possible!”
-"Barring a little surreptitious auto-erotism and homosexuality–absolutely nothing.”
-"Nothing?”
-"In most cases, till they were over twenty years old.”
-"Twenty years old?” echoed the students in a chorus of loud disbelief.
-"Twenty,” the Director repeated. “I told you that you’d find it incredible.”
-"But what happened?” they asked. “What were the results?”
-"The results were terrible.”

Or what about “Blue Lagoon", in which two barely pubescent adolescents discover their changing bodies and their inherent sexual desires, and explore them together? Now the reason I am writing this is simply to help people understand the aforementioned mindset of those days when the trends were quite different. I don’t see any of the children who were at Woodstock suing their parents for taking them into a concert where there was so much “free love (a.k.a: sex)” happening all around them. Of course, those parents, now wiser, would probably not do the same thing anymore, as they have realized that that just might not be the best way to do things, and hence, have grown out of it. So we won’t see all the little “Free’s", who’s parents tried to -with the purest of intentions- spare them from a life of repressed and vilified sexuality, to one that would be freed from such inhibitions, suing their parents for their efforts. Why? Because they have actually moved on. Should not the same be true for all?

So, what now? Should the Family close down shop because of a vitriolic minority? Should we “abandon ship?” Should we stop doing what we know is right, just because 15, 20, or 30 years ago mistakes were made? No! The fact of the matter is, the “itch” that we cause in society is due to the fact that we don’t fit into any of their “pre-established boxes”, hence we must be stomped out. Taking from Baptist, Protestant, Pentecostal, Latter day this and Bride of that, we have not stopped at any of those but have pioneered a new form that takes from each, but doesn’t fit in any because it is Progressive Christianity. This is the issue here. We are unsettling, and we will not, by God’s grace, grow roots until His return. Please understand that God is our life and that showing His love to others is what we have tried to do, and will continue to do, so why not do what you can to help your part of the world instead of trying to hurt mine?

David is a second-generation member of The Family International