By Samuel David Smith, 25; Spanish nationality, fulltime missionary with the Family International in S. Africa

To whom it may concern:

I remember I had a nice life.

Moving around with my parents as a child, being missionaries in the Family. It was fun. I was a bright child, alert and aware of my surroundings. Having being born and raised till an early age of 4 in the WS Family, I was taught to read when I was two years of age. By the time I was 3, I knew 200 verses from the Bible. Now, when I go to get my dental checkups, I can smile at the doctor who tells me I had some very considerate parents that took such good care of me and didn’t give me junk food or sweets that would rot my teeth. Indeed I was blessed. When I was older and moved out of WS, I went around singing to make people happy, songs about Jesus and how much he loved them. I remember they’d cry and ask for more. Then we’d sing them more songs and they’d smile. It felt so nice to make people happy.

Then it happened. We found out that we couldn’t be missionaries any more. We didn’t get told why, just that we were not going to be missionaries anymore. I couldn’t believe it. My mom couldn’t believe it. My dad couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t understand it. We went to visit my grandparents and didn’t unpack our suitcases in one whole year, waiting for a letter, telling us we could be in the Family again. That happened when I was 11 years old.

Time went by. I stopped being home schooled. I went to a public school where the teachers didn’t know what to do with me because I was too young to be in the equivalent grade for my education, and just dropped me into grade 6, instead of 8. The home schooling that my mom gave me in the Family was excellent. More time went by. I eventually grew into a young adult, and continued with my life. I was 21. I had two professions: I was a cook, and I was finishing my degree in Industrial electronics. I was happy. I had friends, I had a car, and I was a famous dancer.

I had warm parents to go to at night, I had cool people to hang out with after class. I was the best in my school. I was popular. I was on the school’s board for 4 consecutive years, voted by the students. I was studying the superior electronics thematic 3 years ahead of what was due. I never touched drugs, only alcohol on the weekends. I didn’t smoke either. My life was prospering just fine. I was getting a place in society, I was going to have a nice life.

Suddenly, one night while working in the restaurant, I felt this phrase go through my mind: “go back to the Family to be a missionary". What?? I exclaimed, shocked that I had even thought of something like that in 6 years. Yes, or was it even more since the last time I had met or even heard from a Family member? The police had just raided the home of my friends in the Family 7 years back and taken them all to a “youth centre” as they called it, for 12 months, until the supreme court declared it “a mistake” and sentenced my friends innocent from all charges. I had seen it on the news. All the country had. Since that happened there were no Family members living there, where I was for over 10 years.

What?? I said again, to myself, where in the world did that come from? I wasn’t drunk, I wasn’t daydreaming. I thought I was getting really weird. Why in the world would I be thinking that? I just couldn’t stop thinking about it, no matter how hard I tried to push the nagging thought out of my mind.

Then another phrase came into my mind: “you’re going to meet someone from the Family very soon” this time it sounded like someone was talking to me, telling me what was going to happen. God was talking to me. And it did happen. 2 weeks later, all the way from the Chechnyan war, a missionary family with 11 kids from the Family came to my door. By car. It took them over 2 weeks.

More time has gone by, 4 years to be exact. And my life has never been the same. I have rejoined the Family to be a missionary again. I love my life. I love Jesus. I love to make people happy by telling them He loves them. I love to feel useful. I love to love! I love waking up every morning knowing that Jesus loves me. I love to go out and pack my boxes full of Christian books and send them to other Family members so they can go and give them out to those who don’t have Jesus. I am witnessing, and helping others get saved. I love walking through the house and just giving my companions-my brothers and sisters-hugs and a warm embrace for nothing. I see them smile and I know its worth its all. I love to go to my room, pickup the bible or another feeding book, and read about Jesus. I love to talk to Jesus, and that He talks to me. I am most richly blessed, I am most richly loved, and I am most richly fulfilled. My life has a reason. I was born to learn to love. I live to love. And one day I will die for love, for what I believe. For Him, my saviour, Jesus my Lord. Brainwashed? Yep, every single inch. And even more: heartwashed. And I’m loving it more and more.

And why? Why did I rejoin the Family? Why did I leave my old life and embrace this new one? Because I am free.

I am free. I can think and feel. I am in control of my life. I make up my mind. I choose. I choose real love. I choose joy. I choose Jesus. I am not tied down by the “rules” of society. I am free to be here, and I am free to go. I know what is right and what is wrong. I’m not “escaping” a terrible past. I am choosing a wonderful present and a bright future in God’s kingdom. I’m not here for the beer. I don’t care what anyone else is doing. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t care what you think. I am here because Jesus asked me to be here. I am here because I WANT TO BE HERE.

This is my life. I know who I have believed. I know who I’m serving. I love Him. I am going on to fulfill my destiny. I am living with a purpose, and will not give up till I reach our goal: to make everyone in the world understand that THE ONLY POURPOSE TO LIVE, IS TO LIVE TO LOVE. What about you? How is your life? What have you done with YOUR life? Who the hell do you think you are to tell me I am wrong??? If you don’t get anything else from what you’ve just read, just get this: I CHOOSE.

I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE.