My name is Michele Dawn, I am 28 years old. I was born and raised in “The Family”. I have a wonderful, sweet daughter Anisha Ryann who is now 5 years old. I have lived in a number of countries during my years growing up in “The Family”. One of the main ministries I have been involved in has been the care of our precious Children.

The appalling Murder of Angela and the consequent suicide of Ricky Rodriguez both shocked and disturbed me. There are 2 main things that disturb me most, first of all the loss of life as I believe life is precious; second and perhaps most disturbing is what followed: That there are those who will stoop to such low levels as to try and blame a murder on the victim; and excusing the one who committed the murder. I am sorry but that is just inconceivable. Those who say these things have an agenda and only one thing on their mind and that is to try and destroy what Angela lived for and what I am still living for. Their accusations against the Family has caused me to look back at my life in “The Family” and see it for what it really is, I have reflected on my upbringing and experiences in the Family. When I looked back this is what I saw: I was born July 5, 1976 in Chicago, Illinois. My parents names are John V. and Jean Marie. I can’t remember my first few years of life, but my memory goes back to when I was about 5 years old & onward. When I was about 5 my parents and I with my brothers and sisters (at that time there were 3 of us kids) went to Mexico as missionaries, we traveled in a caravan, we had a trailer and a van we stayed at trailer parks and at other times houses, we would witness, visit orphanages and sing to the children, do skits and make them laugh. We also sang in restaurants, schools and personally talked with people, bringing them to Jesus. I remember such excitement and joy, as I watched God supply our every need. We lived by what we call “Faith” that means my parents weren’t supported by anyone but God. But we always had a roof over our heads and food on our plates and not only that but we had love and joy. I remember I found such excitement in telling others about Jesus and I still remember the amazement of those I witnessed to that such a young girl knew so much about Jesus and his love.

When I was growing up and moving from country to country and following the Lord with my parents, I remember watching my dad and mom pray and ask God to supply and then I’d watch as the Lord would answer the prayers. They involved us kids in all the decisions and I always felt a part of what we were doing as an individual family serving Jesus together. We had unity, I never felt forced I only felt in my own heart compelled to give his love to others. My memories of my childhood are happy ones, full of adventure and experiences that most people never have, I wouldn’t go back and change it for the world.

I have lived in many places since then, “The Family” has changed a lot since my childhood, with each change it has just gotten better and better, I remember as I got older we started to have “Family” schools which I was able to attend and live with other kids my age (I was by then a young teen), where we were involved in not only our own education, but we also were involved in reaching out to those around us in our community and other cities. We had vocational training in vocations we were interested in or gifted in. I personally received invaluable training in caring for Children as well as performing arts. I along with other young people did shows in all kinds of places and learned how to communicate well with all ages. I have to say that growing up in the “Family” has been an advantage and a positive thing. I always felt loved and cared for and if I should later chose a different path in life than what I have now chosen I have the confidence that the training and the upbringing I have received in “The Family” will only enhance anything else I may try to do in life. I have made a solid decision that I want to dedicate my whole life to continuing what my parents started and taught me as a child. I have a passion in my life and that is to serve Jesus and love my fellow man. This is what I have chosen to do because it’s what I feel is my destiny and what I feel called to do.

I now have a daughter of my own, and I have thought a lot about what I want for her. As a mother I want the best for my daughter. I want her to have every thing that life can offer, I want her to be surrounded by love and to feel supported and cared for. I want her to be the best that she can be. After reflecting on my own life in the family and the heritage my parents left for me and the things I have experienced. I am convinced that here in “The Family” my daughter will have the best upbringing the best support and care that there is to be found in the World. It is a place where she will be sheltered, safe and nurtured in the Lord. Where her personal faith can grow until she is ready to make her own decisions about life. Like I have said I have traveled a lot and I have seen many different cultures, communities and peoples. I have not lived an isolated life. A sheltered and nurtured one, yes, but not isolated. I was exposed to many different people and rich cultures, I met people from all walks of life and all religions. And I have strong conviction that for me “The Family” is the best place there is to raise well adjusted children. I have people comment on my daughter all the time at how bright and wonderful she is. She is smart and has a personality all her own. She can read almost anything she can get her hands on and she was doing that since she was 4 years old. She has questions about everything. She is not being subdued or abused in any way. I have been involved with family education and childcare for a long time, I am not blind and one thing I cannot tolerate is abuse and cruelty especially to children who are innocent and helpless, if I would have seen these things happening around me do you think I would tolerate it or put up with it for an instant? I think not!! To the contrary, I have seen and experienced love, understanding, great care, and focus on the littlest ones. Although I am a single mom I feel the love and care of those around me who help me with the care of my daughter. She gets everything she needs and is a bright and beautiful girl. I am just so thankful I have been blessed to be a part of this wonderful “Family.

I feel great regret that there are those who are so bent on destroying something so beautiful. It saddens me that there are those so overcome with hate that they cannot see the light, or the truth, or see things clearly. Sure there have been mistakes made by certain individuals that were in “The Family” But that is just what they were “MISTAKES” things that were not meant to happen. It’s not “The Family” that did those things but people who misapplied what they read. “The Family” was built on God’s law which is to love, to do no one harm, to love our neighbor as our self. To do unto others as we would have them do unto us. To lay down our lives for each other and the lost. So to say that the Family or Maria in particular is to blame for what happened is beyond belief. I sorry, the logic just isn’t there. If something was built on a foundation of caring and helping how can you blame something so contrary on that foundation. It’s just ridiculous.

For those of you who may read this and have not seen what the Family is about or who haven’t met us personally, I ask you to seek the truth. I ask you before you judge to see for yourself. Don’t just believe something because it’s the easy thing or jump on someone’s wagon without careful study of the truth. If it’s the truth you want then I suggest you search it out. We are an open book, our homes and lives are there for you to see and partake of. We want you to know us and we welcome you to see for yourself the truth about what we live for and our life style, I am not ashamed of what I believe or how I have chosen to live my life. I am proud of the calling Jesus has given me. And I would be happy to share it with you too.

For those of you who are set on destroying what I believe and have given my life to I say this: If this thing be of man it will come to naught but if be of God beware lest haply ye be found to fight even against God. I urge you to search your heart and ask yourself why you are so determined to put a stop to something that you obviously do not fully understand, I would urge you to ask yourself why you care so much about something that you obviously no longer want to be a part of. Why don’t you just get on with your life and live it to the full? And let me get on with my life. I am happy to live and let live. I have no desire to quarrel with you or to condemn you for your choices in life. all I ask is that you do the same for me. I sincerely pray that you will be able to put your bitterness behind you and move on to the future which can be as bright as you make. We each have to make choices in our lives and that determines who we are and what we do, it’s not circumstances that make us who we are but how we react to them. Think about that before you start to point the finger at others for your lot in life, or the decisions you make.

For all of you out there who have heard about this tragic event, and loss of life I ask you this question: Who decides what you do? Is it circumstances that make you do certain things or your choices?

Is it ever okay to blame your upbringing or someone else to excuse yourself for taking a life? I am sorry, but to me that logic doesn’t sit right. We each decide what our actions will be. God has given each of us the majesty of choice and we decide what we do. You can’t blame your decisions on someone else. God gave that choice to you and you will have to live with the consequences of those decisions.

I don’t personally know Ricky or Angela. But I do know what it is like growing up in the Family and I know that the Family is a beautiful place with wonderful people who have given their lives to saving and helping others. Which is a stark contrast with what Ricky did. You can’t blame the one on the other because they are diametrically opposed. I abhor violence and bloodshed and I believe life is precious, all life. The Bible tells us to love our enemies and do good to them that hate us and pray for them which despitefully use us and persecute us. And by God’s grace that is what I intend to do.

I pray the Lord will help you to come to know the truth and that you will not be swept along by the lies or hateful words of those whose goal in life is to destroy what I believe in. All I ask is that you seek the TRUTH, and see for yourself what that TRUTH is and not just believe hearsay or someone’s opinion.

Michele Dawn is a second-generation member of the Family International.