(From a second-generation former member)

My name is Mark Elder and I’m 32, or was it 31. Oh well, I’m getting senile before my time. I guess I wanted to put my two cents in on what happened with David [Ricky Rodrigues].

A quick history: I left the Family when I was 19 and rejoined for a year when I was 28 and then left again and ended up spending another month in Sara and Alf’s home a few months later before finally moving on for good. Most people who knew me in the Family would say that I was a nice guy as well, and would probably have good things to say about me, aside from my leaving the Family.

I used to consider myself a good person too. But in the course of my life I’ve learned a lot about human nature, from others, and a great deal from myself. I know what it’s like to go from being the Family’s most ardent supporter, to feeling hate and bitterness towards the Family to the point of wanting to take action against it. And what was even more confusing to me when trying to interpret and figure out such a change of emotions, was that there was never any real basis for my growing bitterness and hate for the Family.

I was definitely never abused. Those I dealt with in the Family were always kind and loving and went out of their way to help me in any way they could. Where did this change come from? In the end it’s a simple formula.

First of all pride is a very real thing, and when it gets in the way it distorts everything. Combine a good dose of pride with a lot of negative input, i.e. I read and researched all that the detractors had said and made it my business to find out the truth of what really happened, and before long I was immersed in this negative input, so much so that that became my truth and what consumed my mind.

I know that If I had not broken that negative cycle, that I too could have brought myself to the point where I could have done harm to someone in some way through my actions. Maybe not murder, but we are all capable of murder if we let ourselves become consumed with hate and bitterness. It is literally like a poison, and if you don’t confront it and see it for what it is, it does you nothing but harm.

In a way I do know what David was going through, and how horrible the mental anguish can be when you are in that state of mind, especially when it involves people that you once loved and cared about. I don’t excuse what he did, but I know he is forgiven. And even more so due to the nature of the times we live in.

We are most definitely in the last stages of this world’s existence and for those of us who believe, we know that the final battle is at hand and it’s not going to be pretty. I can feel the spiritual intensity more then ever in my life and the lives of those I know. The devil is out for keeps now and there will be many more casualties before the war is won.

I don’t look forward to the horrible suffering that I know is coming to this world and to everyone in it. And I don’t believe we can even begin to comprehend how bad it will get. I used to think about the “end time” as an exciting time when all that I was taught would finally be fulfilled before my eyes. But now that I begin to understand the gravity of what awaits us, my heart is filled with sadness for the world and the suffering that awaits it. Many more situations like what happened with David are sure to come. And the old stay-close-to-the-Lord formula is all I can recommend.

And as far as my spiritual ups and downs go, I’ve definitely learned that Jesus is the only true rock in my life. His word and time with Him are the only things that keep me in the right frame of mind. When I stray and don’t spend time with Him, I don’t do well. And when I stay in the Word and close to Him, even though it sometimes seems harder, I know that it is the only choice that works for me.

As far as my attitude towards those that turn to the darkness and choose the path of negativity, well I honestly feel sorry for them. I know how tormenting it is to be in that frame of mind and my heart goes out to them. If I could say one thing to the Family on this subject, it is to remember that we are supposed to: bless them that curse us, and pray for them which despitefully use us and persecute us. Pray for them, not against them, for they know not what they do. Always show love in your words and actions toward them, that is what we as Christians are supposed to do. I fall short all the time, but that is what Christianity is to me. It’s a lifetime of learning how to love. And it will probably take more than a lifetime for me, but at least I know what to strive for.

And as an American, I ask one more thing of you. Pray for America. Don’t pray for its destruction, pray for its salvation. There are so many lost and deceived people here, that have experienced a lifetime of lies and don’t know any better. This country especially is going to suffer in the days to come, and there are so many good-hearted people here that will need your prayers and love in the days to come.

God bless you all and keep going for God—in these dark days there really is no other option.

Love, Mark