By Rima Parker
Age: 26
Country: Nigeria

I can’t get over the fact that there are people out there who are wasting their lives living in the past and holding on to so many grudges and ‘injustices’. Can they really be happy wallowing in their memories – or selective memories dare I say – of a life which to them is past? Are they not capable of moving on and letting bygones be bygones?

I work as a member of the Family International in Nigeria, West Africa, where we facilitate and manage free health care programs that bring free medical attention and life-altering surgery to thousands of rural dwellers and set up vocational training courses and schools for the handicapped, orphans, the underprivileged and many others. Besides this we do many other programs, providing relief and physical help, motivation and spiritual help and support for hundreds of thousands of people throughout Nigeria. We run these programs indigenously and raise all our own sponsorship and support. Even though this means hard work, our lives are productive, fulfilling and motivational for many others.

It was very sad to hear about Ricky and Angela – what happened was horrible and tragic from any viewpoint. But I am very affronted by the fact that – as horrible as it is – the Family International, an organization which includes me – is being blamed for it by many people. Are they insinuating that I – completely distant and unrelated to the brutal murder and suicide – am an accomplice to this tragedy? Is that humane, fair, or just plain nice? I think not. That insinuation should be illegal and if I were American I would probably sue for emotional battery and abuse. I’d win too.

Perhaps I am selfish and thoughtless to think that the people making these accusations should just get over the fact that we aren’t going anywhere and should let us be, but the fact is that there is a whole beautiful world out there with amazing possibilities, experiences and adventures for those with imagination, a little mental alertness and some gumption. And the sad thing is that I am sure that a lot of these very disgruntled former members have all of that – they obviously have the brains and capabilities to make something of their lives (Heaven forbid that someone might suggest that these same mental and imaginative qualities could stem from their upbringing) so why – oh why – don’t they do it? Why do they have to waste their lives and energies on this self-proclaimed ‘crusade’ to ‘save us from our sinister selves’ instead of spending that same time and energy on making their own – chosen – lives something beautiful? I am venting my frustration a little here, and whether or not it is appropriate I wish someone who perhaps reads this and is in contact with these select few who are fighting so ‘nobly’ against us will tell them from me … We are responsible adults and have the right – both God given and man given – to live our own lives however we choose.

You may argue that yes, we – that broad range of 20-30 some-things – are old enough but what about the children and younger teenagers who will be pressured and coerced to stay within the ‘Family circle’ even if they desire to do something else with their lives? I work with teenagers within the Family International and I have never told a young person that if they choose a life outside of the Family they will be shamed before God or will be a lesser human being in any sense whatsoever. I encourage them to make their own choices and I will do everything I can to give them the confidence, talents and skills to live the life of their choice – whether as a member of the Family or not. Of course I tell them that I have chosen to live and work within the Family and I tell them why I have made that choice, but if I were a doctor I would tell a teenager the same thing. Within the secular schools that I attended, we had people from various walks of life who would explain their lifestyle or religion, and they were never accused of ‘emotional blackmail or pressure’ – it was part of the curriculum. So why is it that even though we give our young people support, love and the right to choose, others won’t give us the same benefit?

I am the only member of my immediate family who today is a member of the Family International as I rejoined at 16, and I receive support and love from each member of my family who have all moved on with their lives. As long as they feel I am happy and aware of my life and choices, they accept my life and choice. If my immediate family, who cares for me personally, can give me this freedom and respect then why can’t a stranger half way around the world give me the same?

I am not talking here about right or wrong, what happened or didn’t happen, or what happened to the former members or what didn’t. Personally, I wasn’t there in every (or any) instance of every accusation, so my opinion – and that’s what it would be – doesn’t count for much. But I am an intelligent, productive member of a work and organization which literally saves the lives of hundreds of thousands of people who have no one else to turn to. If I want to live my life as a believing Christian who spends each day of the year helping those who are sick, poor, and destitute – both spiritually and physically – and all this without a massive paycheck at the end of the month – then I think I should be left alone to do that. If I worked for UNICEF or the Red Cross I would be applauded as a ‘true humanitarian’– but because I work for free and for God as a member of the Family International I am now branded as a ‘mindless naïve miscreant’. How does that make sense?

I am frustrated and I am upset that I am treated like an unintelligent naïve blinded participant of a sinister and manipulative cult - I have a right to be insulted by this accusation and I am insulted. Being a member of the Family International is the life I have chosen – and that I continue to choose for myself day by day. I periodically take stock of my life and what I want out of it and I have a right to choose the life I want…The same right that belongs to all humanity.

Rima Parker is a second-generation member of The Family International