From Gabriela DeLorenzo, 27, mother of three children, Europe.
(Second-generation member of the Family International)

He was the younger, “smarter” brother, the one his father had all the hopes of the family set on. But his older brother was often beaten up by his father, shunned and treated as if he didn’t care. He felt pressure to excel, to make his father proud, to be more than his brother.

She got married at 18—against her parent’s wishes—to someone they didn’t approve of. As a result, she was disowned and although they lived as literal neighbors, didn’t speak to each other for almost 10 years.

He comes from a broken home, where his parents pit him against each other. His mother couldn’t care less what he does, and wasn’t impressed when his picture was in the newspaper for helping underprivileged families. He was brutally beaten up as a teenager by a gang, and only survived the severe head wounds by a miracle. Again, his parents weren’t too concerned.

She was often pushed around and harshly hit by her father. Her older brother was as well. When she developed complications with her spine resulting in a series of operations, her father reacted by going out late at night; getting drunk with his men friends. Her father hasn’t spoken to her brother for eight years. He hasn’t spoken to her in almost three years. In her 22 years, he has never so much as said “I love you” or “Happy Birthday.”

He started drinking at 13, with the help of his grandfather. His biological father hasn’t spoken to him in two years. Though his mother and step-father are concerned about him, there’s not much they can do to rein in their delinquent teenager. He goes out and gets drunk on a regular basis. He’s 16 and makes his money off the black-market, selling everything from mobile phones to expensive perfumes, to baseball bats for gang fights.

Before you start wagging your head, saying to yourself, “See, I told you there was abuse in that sex cult!” let me explain. The above cases are true, yes, but not the stories of any young people growing up in the Family. No, these are friends of ours, young people who come from broken homes, with broken hearts and lives. These young people are finding a new lease on life as they step out of their homes and help others, and of course through their faith in a God who they found loves and cares for them. It’s also been very important to them that we have been there for them, to listen, to pray and to point the way through God’s Word.

I see it all the time on TV—the senseless violence, killing for pleasure, women commit suicide and take their children with them as “the only way out” of a life of violent beatings, school children beating each other up and torturing for fun, perverts raping and killing little children. I know what violence is. I know what abuse is. I know where I can find all this as well.—And I know where I won’t find it—in the Family.

Do you seriously think I would allow any abuse to come to my three children? Are you really daft enough to believe that having grown up in the Family I would raise my children in the same environment if I thought there was any chance of their being abused? We have strict codes, guidelines and the Charter is obeyed. It’s not just a book that sits on the shelf; it’s lived every day, all the time. The Word and the Charter are our guide as a group, and when it says “no abuse” it means “no abuse”!

I find great pleasure in helping others. In fact, I’ve made it my life’s profession to help other people. I find I can do this very well in the Family, where I grew up. I’m 27 years old, and the roughest time of my childhood that I can remember is when I was a young teen; reclassified to FM [Fellow Member] status. To me, I wasn’t really in the Family anymore, and it just broke my heart.

Why would an abused, deprived teenager be brokenhearted about leaving the group that caused her problems? The answer is simple: I wasn’t in danger, I felt protected, loved and cared for. Yes, my father was a strict disciplinarian, and we got the “rod of correction” from time to time. But other than a temporary hurt, all the discipline helped to do was make me into a better, self-disciplined, confident adult.

I am the only one of five children in our family who is still a part of the Family. Over the last five years, we have had seven young people leave the Family from our home. I don’t hate these people for choosing another life. I respect that they had the decency to say, “Sorry, this life isn’t for me, I would rather do something else.” At least they moved on.

My sisters have made a good life for themselves, proving again that Family education does give you a good head start to life. For example, my 19-year-old sister is now the manager of a bar in Frankfurt. I’m proud of her, not because she left our group, but because she made the most of her life and lets me live mine as I choose. All my siblings do.

Deep down inside, it hurts that potential, good people keep leaving us. It hurts when friends choose a different path, one that I find futile and useless. But it’s not my place to judge. It’s God’s. So I leave it to God. I put it in His hands, pray for my loved ones, and do my best to support them, even if only through regular mail contact.

If we in the Family can be so gracious as to let our friends and family choose their way of life, why can’t those who leave do the same?

Oh, and for those who would like to see us go down, I have one thing to say: You will only end up making us stronger. If you think your lies affect any of us who grew up happy and who continue to live happy lives, think again!