I read a number of the articles on “myconclusion.com” and I’m impressed by some of them, especially the one written by Phil, China’s older brother. It is apparent that he disagrees with what his sister said on television, yet he doesn’t get into calling her names (like “liar” or “apostate"), he wishes her well - in his own way.

This reminds me of a man I know whose wife often seemed to make up worries out of thin air - and he would defend her worries in front of others. One time I asked him “don’t you realize that your wife’s worries have no basis in reality?” His answer was very wise “maybe so, but they are real to her, and I love her.”

I feel that this is the kind of understanding that is needed to bridge the gap that sometimes exists between current and former members of “the Family International". Those who only have positive memories of their childhood can’t understand how somebody could besmirch the group publicly and quickly reach the conclusion that that person must be lying; others who only have negative memories can’t understand how anybody could think positively of the group.

If we can somehow understand that nothing is all black or all white, then we may be able to understand each other. Believe it or not, it takes a lot of courage for a secular person to go on television and talk about their history in an unorthodox religious group - I know, I could not possibly bring myself to do something like that. People who do that must feel very strongly that they have been wronged - is it possible to accept the idea that maybe they were wronged? And is it possible for them to accept the idea that maybe others grew up in the same group but did not suffer the same things they suffered?

I don’t know the answer, but I do know that the more the two sides vent their anger at each other the less chance there will be of coming to some kind of understanding. I can personally testify that because my parents admitted to the mistakes they made when we were kids and apologized for them I have no hard feelings towards them.
May we all be as brave as they were.