Then we can ask the Lord to deliver us from depressing thoughts, and He will do it, because He is the King! He is the King and we are the subjects and citizens of His kingdom! The Word of a king cannot be altered by anyone, not even the king. I know from experience that this process works better than any kind of therapy or psychology!

King David in Psalm One wrote by the Holy Spirit: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the Law of the Lord, and in His Law doth he Meditate day and night!” The Law is God’s precious Word. If we meditate in it day and night we cannot think of the negative things that would cause us to want to hurt and harm others or ourselves. I can’t help but think how different things would have been if Ricky had believed that simple but profound truth, as well as others who suffered and are now suffering needlessly because they would rather live in bitterness and revenge than forgiveness and peace of mind and heart.
Whatever someone had suffered, you cannot blame your present state of mind and depression or bitterness on anyone but your own freewill that causes you to choose to think that way. Bitterness hate and revenge will not bring anyone happiness and joy and peace of mind, only unhappiness, depression, death and destruction, because of the thought pattern one chooses to follow. Proverbs says, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”
As you think in your heart, that is what you will become like and there is no avoiding it.
So my best wishes go out to the young missionaries in The Family International who have chosen of their own free will to live the life of a missionary on the field of their choice.

This reminds me of a man I know whose wife often seemed to make up worries out of thin air – and he would defend her worries in front of others. One time I asked him “don’t you realize that your wife’s worries have no basis in reality?” His answer was very wise “maybe so, but they are real to her, and I love her.”

I feel that this is the kind of understanding that is needed to bridge the gap that sometimes exists between current and former members of “the Family International”. Those who only have positive memories of their childhood can’t understand how somebody could besmirch the group publicly and quickly reach the conclusion that that person must be lying; others who only have negative memories can’t understand how anybody could think positively of the group.

If we can somehow understand that nothing is all black or all white, then we may be able to understand each other. Believe it or not, it takes a lot of courage for a secular person to go on television and talk about their history in an unorthodox religious group – I know, I could not possibly bring myself to do something like that. People who do that must feel very strongly that they have been wronged – is it possible to accept the idea that maybe they were wronged? And is it possible for them to accept the idea that maybe others grew up in the same group but did not suffer the same things they suffered?

I don’t know the answer, but I do know that the more the two sides vent their anger at each other the less chance there will be of coming to some kind of understanding. I can personally testify that because my parents admitted to the mistakes they made when we were kids and apologized for them I have no hard feelings towards them.
May we all be as brave as they were.

People criticize members of the Family for standing up for themselves. They pay little attention to their arguments because they are members of “the cult”. It seems to me that once someone is branded with the title cultist they are not accorded the normal rights (including the right to stand up for themselves) that other people are.

I have nothing to gain by standing up for TF except my self respect. A few people have decided to make it their life’s mission to destroy TF and TF deserves to have someone give another version of the story.

Honest people can only tell what they have seen. I’ll be the first to admit that my experience growing up was very counter-culture. My parents were trying a very different way of life from what was typical in the US.

I saw a movie one time called Flashback where one scene reminded me so much of my simple childhood that it brought tears to my eyes. It was when Kiefer Sutherland sees a video of him when he was a kid before he grew up to an opposite way of life as an FBI officer. It shows him dancing around barefoot while his hippy parents play the guitar and sing songs. They seem poor but very happy. In many ways I was raised in a hippy but Christian (or early Christian) lifestyle.

We didn’t watch much TV. We helped with household chores from a young age. We moved around a lot. We camped at lakes and parks for months at a time and my dad would play us songs on the guitar around the campfire at night. Our parents had us memorize Bible verses and encouraged us to tell our friends about Jesus. In many ways though, my siblings and I were normal rowdy kids. We didn’t have a lot of toys but I don’t remember missing them. We went to church for Sunday school. We easily made friends wherever we went.

When we were naughty my parents would sometimes spank us or if we lied or said a bad word they would “wash our mouth out with soap”. These are the only negative memories I have and since I remember actually being naughty in many of those occasions I have a difficult time calling them “abuse”.

Family lifestyle is communal and many times we lived with other families. I remember that when I was 5 years old we briefly lived with one family whose oldest daughter (6) was mean and would lie about my brother and me to her father. He would then spank us unfairly without telling my parents. This is my only memory of really unjust punishment when I was a child.

As far as school goes my collage educated mother home schooled us regularly though we learned some subjects (like reading) much better than other subjects (like math). When I was a preteen I went to public school for several years and saw that there were definite holes in my education that I was able to catch up on. At the same time I was advanced and even excelled in others.

I would have to say of my personal case that if I had gone to normal public/private school from grade school through high school I would have learned many subjects better than I did the way I was taught. I must say though that Family education has come a long way since I was a child.

At the same time I learned things in my lifestyle that help me today much more than standard scholastics would. Speaking a second language fluently helps me in my job every day for instance. Politics, current world events, accounting, human relations, sales and a good work ethic are a few other things I am extremely appreciative of having learned. Many people I meet who are “better educated” than I are lacking in some of these areas and I see it hurt them in their jobs and relationships.

I am 32 years old and I have never seen any sexual abuse in TF. I know of cases where abuse took place but if was wide spread or condoned me or one of my siblings would have experienced it. However when I was a child I remember three different occasions where I was touched inappropriately or propositioned by men to have sex by non-Family people that I met in parks or restrooms. So from personal experience I keep much closer watch over my children now that I am not in TF than when I was.

I have moved on from TF. I am not a missionary and I am not raising my children to be Family members. I now own my own house and my own business.

I have 3 children in public school. They are all at the top of their classes. My oldest daughter who was home schooled with A Beka through 4th grade received the President’s award last year is in all Pre AP classes. She loves her current life though she has fond memories of her early years as a missionary and traveling.

Leaving the Family lifestyle was a big change for sure and difficult in many ways but my life growing up sufficiently prepared me to do whatever I wanted with my life. When I moved on I didn’t have to escape and in fact no one even tried to talk me out of it – though my friends wished me well.

I would like to say that I am a self made man and though I had humble beginnings I have big plans for my future. I have to say though that all that is good and moral about me is because of how I was raised. I have a deep faith and sense of what my life is about. Things might have been easier for me today if my parents had been rich and raised me to think about myself foremost but I kind of doubt it. In any case I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. My experiences as a missionary were profound and satisfying.

I wish you well!

Shawn

Dear Editor,

I met the Family in 1971, Los Angeles, California, and was amazed at the constant word references used by the then members. I did not join immediately, only later after having again spent some time with them in Montreal, PQ, Canada. Finally I joined in Europe, in 1973 and stayed with the Family until 1995, when I left to avoid some conflicts, mostly with myself. However, at no time during all these years did I ever find our top leadership corrupt, untrue or even slightly inclined to any sort of abuse, whether child abuse or otherwise.

Neither did I gather any evidence of financial irregularities, dishonesty or violent behavior. Rather meeting The Family is for me a true lifesaver and anchor on the road back home to reconcile with God. In fact, it was myself who left due to my inadequacy and somewhat less than acceptable conduct in the sight of our Lord, and surely in the eyes of some of my brethren., Peter, or Ditto (David) Rodriguez as he was also known, was not compelled to commit the crimes he did, and at no point is it realistic to point the finger at the Family as a unit to blame them for David’s confessed guilt. He blames others for his weakness and desires, just as Cain did. In fact, Eve in the Garden blames Satan’s proxy the serpent for her sin; the blame game is Old Hat.

The Enemy of Christ is anyone who is anti-Christ in orientation, and obviously they will not hesitate to bring reproach on Christ and The Family whenever the occasion arises. Our friends know the truth, our enemies don’t care about the truth, and the large group of indifferent people in the world couldn’t care less; in short, my testimony as to the genuine Holy Spirit sanctified saints of The World Services Family is now recorded for anyone’s use, and it is irrevocable before God forever.

Best Regards

L. K. Davidson
New Delhi, India

There was abuse in the family, that has been established. It has also been apologized for and stringent measures put in place to stop it happening again.

For the last few months I have been visiting the Moving on website. At first I was upset by what was being said about The Family on it, but over time I dismissed it as just a few bitter, angry people. I started to really get wound up about the abuse I had suffered as a child, things I thought I had already dealt with. I started to think maybe they’re right, maybe The Family is evil.

Then the news about Ricky came, and the reactions on that site scared me. How could you hold those actions up as a good thing, make him a hero, say you wish you could do the same? These people are out to destroy The Family, and are proud of it.

I cannot sit by and let that happen. Yes, there was abuse in The Family. I experienced it. But since the Charter was introduced and the guidelines set down, I have not at any time experienced or seen any cases of mental, physical or sexual abuse within The Family. Nor have I heard of any. What I have seen and been involved with is children receiving superior educations, within a wonderful supportive extended family structure.

When I came forward with what had happened to me, I received apologies, not only from my parents and those involved, but also from Karen Zerby herself. Despite everything, most of my memories of childhood are happy, love filled ones. I was able to experience things that ‘normal’ children would never have the chance to. I am very thankful my parents chose to raise me within The Family and admire the strength it took.

My conclusion is while things happened that weren’t right, every effort has been made to apologize, and ensure they never happen again, and as it stands now The Family International is a wonderful place full of loving, joyful people who are trying to make the world a better place. I am currently raising my son outside The Family, and I sometimes regret that he won’t experience the warmth and love that growing up in the family affords.