I am 21 year-old second-generation* member of The Family International. My name is Christopher, and this is my testament. (*Born and raised in the Family)

I don’t know what you’ve heard about our group, or for what reason you stumbled upon this site. I don’t know how you’ve chosen to form your opinions about us or which side you’ve chosen to believe in this whole controversy.

I am not writing this, however, to try to change your mind or to try to convince you of my views. What you choose to think is entirely up to you and I have no right to try to change your own personal choices.

The only reason I’m writing this is to explain to you the life of a random Family Member and state my own personal opinions about the Family International. If there is any coherence in what I say, I leave it up to you to decide by cautious, intelligent, and professional investigation.

I was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, to an American father and Norwegian mother, who themselves were, and still are, missionaries in our group. I am the second oldest of six and have lived my entire life in Brazil.

My childhood took place in many types of Family homes. Small “pioneer” type homes, large “combo” style homes, field homes (homes working directly with outreach), service homes (homes designed to provide service to field homes) and school homes (somewhat of a Christian boarding school). I say in all honesty that I lived a perfectly peaceful and innocent childhood. My parents took excellent, excellent care of me, physically, emotionally, scholastically and spiritually. Not meaning to be presumptuous, but I believe this is more than the average modern-day child can say for themselves.

We didn’t live a life of luxury. Most toys we had were donated toys without that “brand new” luster. Clothes and shoes were, in many cases, hand-me-downs either from my older brother or from other children in the community. But we were happy. I was happy. I felt so accepted, so cared for, appreciated—even with such a simple life style. We were taught to look beyond the material to the real values in life, which were love, unselfishness, and kindness. Lessons which a great many youth in our advanced and “enlightened” society could stand to learn.

The first time I can remember hearing about the accusations of child abuse was when I was ten—around the time when the Argentine government persecuted the Family. I must say that I couldn’t really understand what it was all about. I had a vague idea but my life had been so sheltered that concepts such as “child-abuse” were entirely foreign to me. It was many years later when I understood their absurd accusations from studying news clippings and Family statements written in response to those accusations. It was funny, because I had had such a beautiful childhood that my mind couldn’t even register these horrible things being said against us—of course I thought they were absurd, but my own painfully innocent mind was a witness to their falsehood.

I am now 21 and am involved most of the time in Christian Outreach. I talk with dozens of people every day, from many different religions, ethic groups, and walks of life, and I have found that because, in great part, of my sound and wholesome upbringing I am able to relate to them—and better than that, offer spiritual help and comfort to those who are going through bad times. It is an amazing experience, to see one’s life changed, to see their eyes light up with hope once again, to see them encouraged to keep on living. It’s an experience I have lived many times and continue to live. It’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. It has become my purpose for living. That is why I am still in the Family. That is why I believe in our message, in our methods and in our way of life.

In closing, I would like to state that I am very aware of the failings, shortcomings and mistakes of our movement, but in spite of all those, what prevails in the Family is love. That is our religion and whole basis of thought and belief: true, sincere, unselfish love. I would like to echo the words of two great instruments of God, who I admire greatly.

“Love never fails, but whether there be prophecies they will fail, whether there be tongues they will cease, whether there be knowledge it will vanish away.” (The Apostle Paul, leader of a controversial religious movement of the first century AD, which came to be known as Christianity, commenting on love.)

“The Family has always been a spiritual entity that thrives in the hearts of real, live people. It’s not made up of words, rules, regulations and procedures. It’s not the result of publications, boards, initiatives and [meetings]. But rather it’s the result of the truth that has become alive in individuals which has burst into a flame of passionate dedication to a living Savior.” (Maria Fontaine, leader of a controversial religious movement of the twentieth century AD, which came to be known as The Family, commenting on what the Family is really all about.)

Sincerely yours,

Christopher A. Thomas

I’m not a very good writer and in another situation I’d probably decide to not write anything, but in light of the recent happenings and the things that have been said I came to the conclusion that if our apostates have a right to express their opinion and give us a piece of their mind then I should too.

I was born and raised in The Family International and, once of age, out of my own choice, decided to continue as a missionary and raise my family in it too. I have four kids, all of which are smart, outgoing, sociable kids. All their lives I’ve done my best to raise them in a loving atmosphere, where they get their needs met and are free from abuse. Let me tell you one thing, if I had any suspicion of abuse to either them or any other child in the Family I’d be out of here in a flash.

Why do I stick around? Besides for the fact that I love what I do, and I love the Lord with all my heart and all my other personal decisions, it’s because I know that the Family is the safest place for any child to grow up in. You might say I’m naïve, or that I say this because I know no other life style but the truth is all you need to do is look at the news today. When I was a teenager I visited various detention homes for kids, orphanages and government institutions for kids whose parents had abused, beaten or abandoned. Now that was heartbreaking. The stories some of them had to tell were horrifying, extremely sad and definitely not the kind of stories you hear about in the Family. Of course, you might say that all this is normal in those kinds of places, but what do you say about the poor kids in kindergarten schools who get pumped with tranquilizers (a.k.a. DRUGS) just because they are a bit on the hyperactive side. If you look around society today there are a number of other instances of real physical, emotional and psychological abuse.

Now let’s be honest, we all know that there were mistakes made, even abuses from certain individuals but from what I’ve heard and seen, those people have been excommunicated from our fellowship. Leadership has apologized for the mistakes on their end in not making things very clear from the beginning and has taken the necessary measures to ensure that things like that will not happen again. For me that’s good enough. I realize that each one of us who have been wronged in any way have to make a choice of what we are going to do with it. Some choose to move on with their lives, putting the past in the past, and making the most of their present and future, while yet others choose to dwell on the negative (which undoubtedly eats you up from the inside and eventually gets exaggerated) and most of the time their lives stay that way in everything they do, stuck in the past. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

I have a number of friends who have left the Family, most of which have gone on with their lives. It’s interesting to see how those who became “losers” in a way, after leaving the Family, ended up blaming their parents and The Family’s upbringing for their own lacks, when the truth is, while in the Family, they were lazy, hated studying (and did everything in their power to miss out on scholastics), murmured about having to do a job here or there. Basically they were losers in the Family. Then they left the Family to pursue other ideals but hey they wake up to the crude reality that “nothing is for free” and you have to work hard out there. (I know, I worked for about a year and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy getting up at 4:45 am every day to get home at around 8 pm only to find my, at the time, 3 kids awake waiting for some mommy time.) Yet those who worked hard and made the best out of their time in the Family, when they left to pursue their goals with all the training and wonderful upbringing they had, they really did move on, got a job and are attaining the goals they had.

When one of my friends left the Family, I was one of the first to know, he came to talk to me about it. Honestly I really admired him for making the decision to leave. Why? Because being in the Family is not for everyone, but a lot of people just sit around complaining about the things they don’t like and they don’t leave because they know that if they did leave it would be a lot harder to have the commodities we have living communally. I mean really, when you have a number of people working toward paying the rent, taking care of your kids, cleaning the house, etc… and all you have to worry about is doing your ministry, it’s a lot easier than having to worry about all of that and more on your own.

Anyway, back to my story. I told him I really respected his decision to leave the Family and that I would like to continue being his friend but he would have to respect my decision to stay. He did and we continue to have very good communication. I love him a lot and he’s like a brother to me. Once he asked me “Do you consider that you’ve been brainwashed? Because sometimes I think young people in the Family stay because of that, besides the fact that they know no other life style, and you’re afraid of not ‘making it’” Honestly I never considered myself a brainwashed, senseless robot, following through on everything I’ve been told.

To be really honest, being in the Family, as I see it, is something directly linked to faith. Here’s how I look at it: Whenever a new revelation comes out, or some new direction for the Family, each one of us is faced with the question, “Do I believe this? Do I have the faith to accept this? Or does my faith go no further?” The day I don’t fully agree with some doctrine of the Family, or I don’t accept it in my heart, I’m not going to kid myself thinking I should continue on as a Family disciple. I will remove myself to suit the membership where the level of my faith is at. And if I ever decide the Family is not the place for me to be in, I’ll go and truly move on with my life.

I’m in the Family because I believe with all my heart that this is the right place for me. Each of the Family’s doctrines has become a personal belief, it doesn’t matter to me what others think about it, I have faith in them. It is because I believe the Word that I’m still here.

I totally respect those of you who have chosen other lifestyles, I know The Family is not the place for everyone, and hey we’re not attacking you for wanting to pursue other goals in life, why are you attacking us? Let us live our lives while you live yours. And if you’re intent on living in the past remorsing over some abuse and dwelling on how it affected you negatively, go right ahead. But don’t make it your goal to ruin other’s lives too because of it. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps not everyone “suffered” like you, and we did live in peaceful havens all our lives?

I’m ever grateful to my parents for raising me in the Family. I know perhaps for a few years they weren’t with me as much as they would have like to be, because of their job at the time. But I always felt loved. I had an excellent education, thanks to my parents who were always concerned about this. I wish other kids in the World today would be able to feel the love and care I got from my parents, the time they spent with me. As busy as they were every night we’d spend time together as a family talking about the day’s events and reading Bible stories together. Of course I went through my rebellious teen years and I’m sure some of the things I said to them hurt them but they took it all in stride praying and knowing someday I’d come around. I wouldn’t trade my upbringing for anything. Now I have my own family and I pray they can one day turn around and say the same about me and their heritage.

Some of our apostates say they want to “save” us from our past, or save our kids now from suffering what they did. (You guys sound like you want to do humanitarian aid. Why don’t you go rescue the poor guys in Iraq who are suffering needlessly, on both sides? They are the ones who are truly psychologically, emotionally and physically abused.) But let me tell you something, I’m old enough to know what I want and need in life. I’m happy, fulfilled and I see that my kids are being raised in the best way possible. What is there to save us from? Leave us be. Find some other cause to dedicate your time and energy to; there are a million other cases where you could really make a difference if you really want to, and are fighting for the right cause.

PS: With all respect, I would like to say to them that are trying to stop our work for Jesus, the same words Gamaliel said to the Pharisees: “If this work be of God, you cannot overthrow it, beware lest you be found to be fighting against God.” (See acts 5:38-39).
To them that are seeking to do as harm, and to stop us from preaching the gospel, I will answer: “We ought to obey God rather than men.” -Acts 5:29. And to them to would threaten to take my life, here is the answer: “Do not fear them that kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul, rather fear Him that can destroy both soul and body in hell ”: -Mathew 10:28

On May 29th 2003 while at the Berlin Ökumenisch Kirchentag, I attended a conference on World Conflicts and Development. Among other spokesmen, the Sudanese Foreign Minister gave a speech (at the time almost unheard of), and referring to the military conflict in southern Sudan said, “the discovery of possible petroleum resources under the soil in southern Sudan is fueling the conflict by third-parties outside of the conflict interested in the resources”.

It may sound ironic that petroleum, a much needed resource of fuel for the development of nations can become in fact the “fuel” for wars, destruction and death. In a world rampant with wars, crime and pollution it would be wise to remember the words of Mother Teresa, who when asked “What can we do to promote world peace?” replied, “Go home and love your families.”

It is more complicated, time-consuming and taxing to build than it is to destroy. It requires more of oneself to mend broken hearts than to wound them. To make someone’s day through a kind deed or a thoughtful word requires more love and concern than it does to discourage & put them down by not taking the time to show appreciation to those around you.

I have had the privilege of receiving an excellent high school education through a home-schooling program, which I know academically, ethically, as well as Biblically, excels the education given to the average person in a secular environment. I am privileged to have the best parents in the world. I believe my parents made the right choice in raising a family of now 10 brothers and sisters in a missionary community of The Family International.

But what is the value of a good upbringing if one does not choose to use his intellect in a productive way? Not much!

I have decided that I will use my intellect to cause a positive effect in my community and change things for the better, one life at a time, by showing concern and appreciation, and most of all giving people Eternal Salvation by receiving Jesus into their hearts as their Savior. And it is because of that decision that I came to the conclusion that The Family International is my calling and place of service to Jesus Christ, whose example I do my best to follow. I adhere to The Family International’s beliefs and doctrines because I know them, I know they are founded on the Word of God, the Bible, and they have positive results on those who practice them.

I admire and appreciate the founders and leaders of The Family International (formerly known as The Children of God). And I am proud to call myself a member of The Family, and as such ‘a full time volunteer missionary’ alongside all the wonderful and dedicated co-workers I proudly consider my brothers and sisters in the Lord. Even if I were the only one to adhere to The Family’s way of life I would still be proud to stand up for its name, founders and current leaders.

I know that The Family – as an organization or as a collective work of like-minded individuals – has a positive effect on the world and the lives we touch, of that no one can convince me otherwise, because I know the results.

Giving people the chance or bringing them to the point of making the decision of accepting Jesus as their Savior is the most important achievement anyone can make. – If it could be called an achievement, in reality it is allowing yourself to be a tool in our Master’s hand. Being a channel of His love to irrigate hearts, and in so doing once our life on earth is over, our Master Jesus Christ will tell us on arriving to our heavenly destination, “well done My good and faithful servant”…not to mention the appreciation given to you by the lives you will have helped change for the better.

A few weeks ago while walking down a street in the commercial area of town I happened to cross paths with P., a friend my age who used to be our neighbor many years ago. Right away we engaged in small-talk conversation about different things we remembered during our time in the “old neighborhood”. Then P. said, “of all our time as neighbors, the thing I remember the most took place one evening when along with another friend from the neighborhood I had been sitting at a bench in the park planning on going to a bar to have some drinks when your older brother Daniel came up to us, and among other things he asked us was, “would you like to do the most interesting and fun thing you will ever do in your life?”, we told him “sure, what is it?”. Then Daniel said, “pray this prayer with me; Dear Jesus, please come into my heart, forgive me for all my sins, I accept you as my Savior and I ask you for Your gift of Eternal Life. Help me to love You and show Your love to those around me. In Jesus name, amen’”

And just the other day while visiting a plastic surgeon specialist, he told me, “I admire young people like you who have something to teach us older people who apparently have reached our goals”.

I would like to congratulate and give a heart felt thank you to all my teachers, tutors, friends and all who had a positive effect in my upbringing, wherever you are serving the Lord whether it be in The Family International or elsewhere, or even if you are no longer serving the Lord. Your work for the Lord in The Family has had positive fruit and the Lord will surely bless you for it.