Although I wasn’t brought up in the Family and joined late in my years, I find it so hard to believe that anyone can blame something on someone who is trying to do any good. I’ve been in the Family now for about 5 years now and have a family of my own since joining and am very happy serving the Lord with them in the Family. We go witnessing and give Bible classes to people who never thought they could be happier. They have hope and they’re spreading their happiness, whether by telling people about Jesus or through their acts of love.

Since joining, I haven’t seen or heard of any type of misconduct, abuse to anyone by anyone in the Family, until now. It’s unfortunate to hear that there were some folks who decided to do things of their own accord back then when there were no black-and-white guidelines regarding those offenses, and if this has already been dealt with by the Family and you feel you’re still not happy, then follow-up with a legal suit of your own against the guilty party, but come on folks: Don’t take it out on others, especially physically.

And if your experience is nothing more than a bitter grudge or misunderstanding, that was a long time ago and what was it they did that deserves all this hate. If you (those offended or thought to be offended) are seriously looking for closure or any type of resolution to your hurt, then come out and talk with each other, because if you don’t, you’re just bent on feeding off your hate and just being spiteful and stupid. It’s your fault you can’t go on and should leave others who chose to go on, alone.

You may feel being out in the system you’re your own man (or woman, no sex discrimination here) you’re wrong!!! The system will use and abuse you so bad, your head would spin and won’t even know what hit you. If you had a brother (or friend) and he was gay, would you accept him? You probably would, so if someone, say a friend (relative), wants to serve the Lord then why bother them?

How many times can you tell your story before people start getting bored of it? Move on…. Get smart and get closure. And those who condone such brutal acts, remember, there’s a saying, “You reap what you sow” or “What goes around comes around.”

I tell you there is nothing heroic, honorable or ‘cool’ about the murder of an innocent, unarmed woman like Angela Smith, especially one who called you a friend. This ‘Columbine style’ of making a video & plotting a ruthless murder like that is sick & inexcusable & even the most hardened ‘criminal’ would agree with that. I guess you apostates watch too much TV. But I would seriously question the psychological state of anyone saying otherwise & personally I’d declare them “a danger to society.” Whether they actually committed the act, condoning it, or if they’re just convincing others it was justifiable and drove them to it.

Some former members think they’re ‘disadvantaged’ in life due to their upbringing. Well, do you have any idea what a disadvantaged upbringing is? It’s like a rich kid complaining to a street urchin how he’s disadvantaged because he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth & groomed to take over the family business, but he turned it down & now that he has to make his own money he’s disadvantaged. Do you really think he’s going to feel sorry for him?

Why don’t you get out to help those who are really abused & disadvantaged, & believe me there are plenty, & I’m not even talking about those in Afghanistan, Rwanda, or Iraq, I’m talking about right here in the US. Or if you’re too selfish or self-centered to, at least let those who aren’t do so.

Our home prays for you who have been hurt and that you can find closure in a sensible and fulfilling way so all parties can grow and learn from this.

A few individuals have turned their vehicles toward some goal they believe will bring them satisfaction. But rather than taking the recommended route, they’ve decided to take a shortcut through a certain residential area. They also believe that the laws of the road don’t apply to them any more, and have decided they shouldn’t have to pay heed to speed limits, stoplights, or yield signs.

This residential area is teeming with children. There are babies and toddlers, young carefree kids, and trendy teenagers. Their parents are walking with them, holding the babies, leading the kids by the hand, shadowed by their teens. They’ve always expected to be safe where they live. They have a right to be safe.

But someone has decided that, so long as the destination is “justice,” anyone who happens to be “in the way” must be volunteering for the profession of road kill. Others have even decided to treat this reckless driving like a sport, to publicize and–unbelievably–to justify the personal road-rage-style sentiments as certain people careen recklessly through what was once a quiet neighborhood. The safety of others doesn’t seem to matter any more, because “somewhere back there” in another time and place, an injustice occurred.

Where are the traffic police in this scenario? They must be on lunch break. Reckless endangerment is a specific traffic offense in some parts of the world–you don’t even have to hit anyone to qualify for a fine.

I Googled up the term “reckless endangerment” and found the following definition on a website called “Washington State Legislature”:

Reckless endangerment.
(1) A person is guilty of reckless endangerment when he or she recklessly engages in conduct not amounting to drive-by shooting but that creates a substantial risk of death or serious physical injury to another person.

(2) Reckless endangerment is a gross misdemeanor.

Granted, I’m speaking figuratively. It’s a word picture to describe how I see the latest horrendous allegations of a few, that seem intended not to seek legitimate amends for past wrongs, but to hurt many.

On About.com, the US military goes a little further in their definition of the term “reckless”:

(3) Recklessness. “Reckless” conduct is conduct that exhibits a culpable disregard of foreseeable consequences to others from the act or omission involved. The accused need not intentionally cause a resulting harm or know that his conduct is substantially certain to cause that result. The ultimate question is whether, under all the circumstances, the accused’s conduct was of that heedless nature that made it actually or imminently dangerous to the rights or safety of others.

So to you who are endangering the rights and safety of my baby, my small nieces and nephews, and the children of my friends and peers in the Family, I say, please park your car. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Nobody says you can’t seek justice if you truly qualify–taking the proper and established routes to do so–but nothing justifies the road rage a few of you are displaying and the reckless endangerment you’re causing to innocent and defenseless children.

Oh, did I say defenseless? Because I just remembered there is allusion to a standing fine for the kind of driving you’re doing–traffic police or no–so I’ll leave you with a reminder of what it is, and a hint that for the safety of yourself and all those around you, you might want to park your car and take the bus.

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.–Jesus
(Matthew 18:6, KJV)

I heard the news a little while ago. How are you? I hope you’re doing okay and are happy where you are now. I’m praying for you, I hope you know.

I feel the need to write you a personal note and express to you my sentiments on the recent course of events. First I want to tell you how much I love you. How much I always looked up to you and appreciated all the good in you. For so long you were an example to me of what I wanted to be. Thank you for that. I know you’re in a good place now where you’ll be in good Hands, but I still do pray for you. No matter what you’ve done in the past, you’ll never lose the love of at least one Person. The Lord will never forsake you. But I wanted you to know that none of us have forsaken you either. We will always still love you and care about you. You’ll never stop being a part of us.

However, though you may be sorry now, nothing will change what has been done. Choices will always be met with consequences. This is not just penned to you because I know you’ve seen from Up There the effects your choices have had, but I am also writing to those who will read this. Those who don’t perhaps understand why this happened. I feel they need to see the far-reaching effects of your choices and the lives that will forever be changed by your decisions.

Firstly, you took her with you. She had a life to live, people to love, and the world to change. She’s gone now. Happy, I’m sure, but gone nonetheless. That can never change and her family, friends, and loved ones can never see her again on this Earth. There’s a handful of people that your decisions reached and whose lives will never be the same again. No man is an island and the choices you make will affect others. I’m sure they can attest to that.

What about me? How have I been? Well, because of your decisions, I’ve been on my prayer bones an awful lot. The life I’ve chosen (chosen, mind you), is jeopardized by those who’d seek to “free” me from living a life I’ve chosen. Which in reality would be taking away my freedom; taking away my choice to live a peaceful life and love my God and others. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. My parents would gladly set me up with a comfy cozy life in the system. So, even though you didn’t personally know me, you’ve affected my life, my security.

What other lives have you touched through your choices, Ricky? How about the rest of the Family young people? The 200 something posts on this website alone show just a portion of the lives you affected by what you did. Are they cheering you on? Honoring you? Praising you for your wonderful choices? Not hardly. I’m sorry, but you affected and jeopardized their lives, security, and choice as well. And most of them aren’t too awfully happy with you. Forgiven you, yes, but still didn’t appreciate what you did and how you affected their lives.

What about those that you influenced with your wrong choices? Those supposed “followers” of yours that are so engrossed in ruining others lives that they can’t stop and make a life of their own. I’m sure they must be quite miserable. How have you affected their lives? What if they do as you did? Take someone else’s life and their own? Well, then that would start a whole new chain of lives that would be detrimented.

How far will this go, Ricky? How far will your choices reach? What about all those that have been influenced by the media’s coverage of your choices? How will you affect their lives? Will they be changed for the better? Who are you saving? How many people are you helping?…More importantly, how many people are you hurting? Did you “free” the Family youth? Is freedom being taken away from those that you once called your family and loved ones as their children are thrown in social security? Interrogated, inspected, dare I say, abused by those who are just trying to “free” them from a life they love? What will it accomplish, Ricky? Will the children be taken away again because of you? They didn’t find any fault in us last time. They couldn’t find any signs of abuse before. We’ve won every court case. Will it needlessly happen again? What have you done, Ricky? What innocents have you endangered? Remember what Jesus said, I know you remember what He said about those who offend His little ones. That it would be better that a millstone be hung around his neck and he be cast into the depths of the sea. Ricky, what have you done?

I’m quite sure you’re sorry now. I’m sure you’ve wept tears of regret and the Lord has wiped them away. You’re forgiven. That’s the beauty of it. You’ll always be forgiven…but only if you choose to be forgiven. If you choose to love rather than hate. If you choose to help rather than hurt. You’ll always have a place here in our hearts. We’ll always love you and always forgive you because that’s our commission. That’s our moral code. We’ve been asked to forsake anger, revenge, and hatred towards our enemies (or those who make themselves our enemies) and instead love them. To love everyone. That’s how we live. That’s our choice.

And to you who read this. What’s your choice? Will you hate us? Is your hatred ever justified? Will you hate Ricky? Is that hatred justified? Hatred is never justified save the hatred of evil and if you can’t see that through all the lives that Ricky’s hatred affected for the worse, then you’ll just have to learn the hard way and maybe ruin countless other lives through your choices. What will you choose? Love or hate? Joy or anger? Good or evil? Peace or war? Think about the choices you make. Remember that no man is an island. Your choices will always reach others. We believe in Love. Plain and simple, love. What do you believe?

You’re in my thoughts and prayers, Ricky. I love you.

Love,
Rosie Paone-Bruni (17), USA, full-time member of the Family International.

To paraphrase a song by Toby Keith, “Proud to be an American” which expresses my feelings about the Family…

“I am proud to be, to be a member in this Family. I am proud to be in this Family where at least I know I’m free, and I won’t forget those who gave that right to me.”

My name is Maya Stone and I am 29 years old. I am a second generation Family Missionary who lives in Texas. I am happily married to Tim Stone (also a second generation Family member). We have been married for 8 years now, we have 4 lovely daughters, whom we love dearly and want to give the best of lives.

To give you a brief background, I am the 2nd child in a family of seven. I was born and raised in this Family. My beliefs are that of a Christian. My parents joined the Children of God in the 1970’s and made Northern Europe their first mission field, where they met and married and had their first three children. We moved to South America when I was six years old and spent the next 5 years in Chile, Peru and Argentina. In 1986, at the age of 11, we moved to Japan where we lived and ministered for over 5 years. Our last foreign field as a family unit was Italy, where my baby sister, Teresa, was born.

My parents continue to serve the Lord fulltime here in the United States and have been actively involved in a variety of ministries and aid work. Some of their most recent, significant accomplishments (with the help of us “kids” who were still at home at the time) include collecting, personally delivering and distributing nine 40 foot containers of goods and supplies to the war torn areas and survivors of the war in Kosovo in 1999. Collecting, packing and accompanying yet more containers to be distributed to flood victims in India in 2001 where my dad nearly lost his life when mobs of needy victims swarmed the trucks he was accompanying. Over the past two years, they have collected, shipped and delivered medicine and hospital equipment to needy hospitals in Central America. They also regularly organize toy and clothing drives to help the needy of their local community and have weekly Bible studies and witnessing excursions with the youth of other missionary centers. They are missionaries and have raised my siblings and I to have compassion on the needy and searching and to do what we can to help.

So in slandering my life, my upbringing and the Family which I, my family and parents are all part of, you have not only ‘hurt my feelings’ in trying to take that which is VERY DEAR to me, but you have made me furious to the point I am ready for this fight! You attack our lives, our families and our loved ones and then expect us not to fight back? You are causing us to rally together and fight back with all we have got within us. You may consider this ‘your fight’ as you are trying to ‘rescue us’ from our ‘many years of abuse and witnessing trips worldwide’ and the fact that our children are in an even ‘worse environment’ etc., but why don’t you just speak for yourself and don’t assume the rest of us are like you or what you are claiming to be or have been.

In the case where Ricky murdered Angela … why are you standing by him? You should be ashamed for having any part of his insanity or condoning his attitudes or encouraging him to follow through on his quest for vengeance and behavior leading up to the murder! I just don’t get it. How can you be the way you are and yet you have such kind and compassionate parents? Daniel, your parents are ones that I dearly respect and look up to. They are kind and loving and forgiving, in spite of the way you’ve treated them and slandered them. Anita is a wonderful person as well, (just to mention those few).

I have been reading these postings from my peers and even dear friends and it brings back memories of all the fun we had growing up. Of course I had my problems. I had good days and bad days. Situations, mission fields, activities, homes and overseers and teachers that I considered more fun and others that weren’t my favorite, but heck isn’t that part of life in the HUMAN WORLD? Maybe you came from a different planet, but I never had things happen to me—those things you are saying happened to me.

I have had a wonderful childhood! I don’t know where some people get off that we are all deprived, saying that we are all ‘abusive cult members,’ or that I was abused along with my peers. I just don’t get it. What gives you the right to lie about me?! You don’t know me, you don’t know my parents and the situations in which I was raised.

I have been raised by loving parents who looked after me and sacrificed to give me a good life. I have lived in at least 7 countries world wide (Chile, Peru, Japan, Germany, Italy, France and Croatia) spending a minimum of a few years in each place—with the exception of just a year in both Croatia and Peru. I have learned the languages of these lands. I love my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I respect those of my friends and peers who have decided to leave the Family, most of whom have found something productive to do with their lives, but I don’t appreciate and won’t stand by while some of you look for ways to trample our rights and lives as individuals.

I want to say something about my rights being infringed upon by you. I, for one, am an American Citizen. I am also a proud member of THE FAMILY! I have the same rights afforded to every other American. I don’t lose those rights because I’m in the Family. I have learned that one of my rights is that when attacked I have the right to defend that which is MINE. I have freedom of speech and freedom of religion and freedom to live my life how I choose as in keeping with the laws of this land! It’s my turn to speak! Sit down and listen for you have said your piece! I am not going to stand by while you attack my family, loved ones, my children and my right to live my life how I choose. I will defend mine and my family’s rights to the best of my ability, as they are being infringed upon and threatened.

You should know this: The Family, David Berg and Maria (Karen Zerby) never condoned violence in the Family. That is the way my parents raised me. I don’t believe in violence and have never been a victim of abuse or physical violence in all my years in the Family, either as a kid, teenager or now a mother. The Family does not condone violence or abuse in any shape or form and we’re not just “saying” that. We have abuse-free and violence-free lives and homes and that’s the reality we live with.

Maya
A life-long second generation Family member! And Proud of IT!

I’m Nina Moore, a 29 year old mother of three and a member of the Family International. I home school my children. They have school five days a week. As a mother I am very concerned about every aspect of their lives, emotional, educational, spiritual and social. My whole life revolves around my children. I spend hours planning their school. I have almost no time to myself, as my children are my life. I have organized a Kids Club where, once a week all my friends with children get together and have Bible studies, games, activities, sports and more. My children are part of the local community soccer league. They have a lot of friends, birthday and dress up parties and do all the normal things kids enjoy doing. I am on the Childcare and Parenting board in the Family where we have board meetings to discuss how we can meet the needs of our children.

My eldest daughter, who is eight years old doesn’t even know what “sex” is. She thinks you get pregnant by getting married. She wants to know how babies are born but I tell her that when she’s older I’ll explain it to her. She is probably more innocent than most eight year olds that go to public school when it comes to sex, and most other things. She doesn’t dress like Britney Spears—she doesn’t even know who Britney is. I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t approve of the way society is growing up our little girls, too fast for me.

Growing up in the Family, I have to admit that our parents were a lot freer sexually than I am. But they never abused me, ever. I did get abused one time in the Family and this is what happened: When I was around 8 years old, I went over for a sleepover to one of my friend’s homes. Her father was a single dad. He wanted us to sleep with him so we did. I did get sexually abused that night. The next morning when I went home I told my mom right away. She freaked out and told Family leadership in our area. The abuser was excommunicated right away, and my mother never let me have a sleepover again! All my life I was a little bitter about the fact that I couldn’t have sleepovers, but now, as a mother, I understand, and if it were me I might have done the same thing. That was the only time I got abused. It didn’t damage me mentally, I’m fine. At the time I thought it was a bit weird, but that was it.

OK, so our parents were discovering their “sexuality,” and yes we did “catch them in the act” once in awhile, and we did see “naked” people. They were young, crazy hippies and had no earthly idea how to raise children. But never once was I tortured, or forced to have sex with some older man, ever! Maybe it did happen in some places, I have some friends who have told me their stories about what happened to them. But it was never the Family condoning it. The offenders were always caught and excommunicated when leadership found out.

I’m not going to say that the Family is perfect, and there are things that I maybe don’t agree with or things I would have done differently, but nothing to the extreme that “Davidito” (Ricky Rodriguez) was talking about. Maybe I’m just naive and innocent but I also grew up in the Family, I’ve been here for 29 years, I’ve been in some of the “communes” these ex-members grew up in, and it seems to me that they mix a lot of fiction with a little truth. I personally don’t understand why they would exaggerate so much and make it all sound so horrible, to the point of wanting to kill and murder. It seems so unreal to me, I can’t believe it even happened. The only thing I can think of is that “hatred leads to the dark side.” I just don’t understand. Angela was my friend; there was NOTHING sinister or evil about her. If anyone would get to know her they would think her a saint, she was one of the sweetest, most sacrificial, humble people I knew.

Although I do think there were mistakes made in the Family when I was growing up. There was also a lot of good. I wish I would have had more schooling, but when I think about it, I’m thankful for all the training I’ve received in how to be a good mother and teach my children, I’ve got a head start on most moms. I have a very good work ethic and am very organized and efficient. I have more friends than most people. When you grow up in the Family everyone is your friend and you feel a special bond with them and you can trust them, you know they’re not going to be some weird psycho. It’s almost like they’re all your brothers and sisters. I have a very good connection with the Lord, and my marriage is founded on the Lord and his Word. My husband has very good character, strong convictions for God and knows the Bible and loves God and I trust him completely. I believe I owe that to the Family.

There was some bad in the Family back in the day, and you can dwell on it if you want to, but there was also a lot of good. Look at all the good the Family has done. If you want to read about it there is no end to articles and testimonies of all the things the Family has done to help society around the world.

For the record, I would like to say that, there is absolutely no abuse in the Family right now, nor has there been for 20-some years. We have strict rules in place to make sure of that. Most of us “second generation” are conservative to the opposite extreme of our parents. We were never hippies and many of us are actually quite “straight laced” compared to them. We do have some rather shocking religious beliefs, and some of them are even hard for me to swallow. But this is America, where, as long as it’s not harmful to anyone, we’re free to believe what we want to believe even if it’s different from the norm.

I am a very simple, trusting person. My husband is more cynical, he says I’m way too naive. But I believe everyone has a good heart and wants to do the right thing. I’ve never met a bad person, people make mistakes and they do bad things for what they think are good causes, but I don’t know anymore. I don’t understand how people can do such horrible things. Does hatred and bitterness distort your view?? If you stray so far from God, do you turn to the Devil?? Do these ex-members really feel they are doing God a service?? Have they dwelt so much on the negative that they’ve lost their perspective on what it was really like growing up in the Family?? Anyone that knows us knows we’re just normal people who love and want to serve God. We’re not weird, we might be a bit odd or different but I think that’s OK. We’re not required to be like everyone else, it’s ok to believe what we choose even if it’s a bit different as long as it’s not harmful.

Well, these are my thoughts and feelings. I’m not an eloquent writer, but I write from my heart…

Nina Moore