I’ve been in the Family since I was four. I personally consider my life a privileged one. I’ve lived in seven different countries and visited more. I’ve learned 4 languages and live a full life where I feel fulfilled and happy. I wouldn’t trade this life I have for any other.

One of the first things that came to my mind when I heard of the deaths of Ricky and Angela and the outrageous accusations our detractors are coming up with was how proud I am to be in the Family, how thankful I am to Maria and Peter and, of course, Father David, for making this Family what it is, for taking it always forward with the humility and courage to change things when they didn’t work anymore. That’s one of the things that makes us different.

We are different from any other group and I’m proud of it! We are not mainstream, we don’t follow the crowds. In fact, we really stand out and that’s why we are persecuted, because we are here to please God and not men.

There are hundreds of us, young people (those who you, our apostates and detractors are so “concerned” about and want so much to “save from psychological abuse” and a “terrible and ruined life”) who are proclaiming here, loud and clear, that we will stand strong by Maria and Peter and the Family. And for your record, you will not be able to disband the Family. You are narrow-minded, deluded souls. Can’t you see that you are minority? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8: 31b).

I feel pity for those of you who are fighting the Family, who approve and encourage the murder done by Ricky —when you finally come face to face with God—for in all you do against the Family you are being found fighting against God.

This is not a dream … this is not a dream … this is not a dream. It doesn’t get through, no matter how many times I tell myself so.

In modern-day society we have all become so familiar with the concept of murder and suicide. We see it in movies all the time hear and read it in the news everyday. When did this become the norm? Why do such thoughts even cross one’s mind? I’ll tell you why, because this is a twisted world we live in, with twisted morals, twisted teachers of twisted values. Each one looking out only for himself while trampling others down if need be to suit their agenda.

In my opinion, this is just such a scenario. Ricky, in my opinion, was a victim yes, not of his upbringing, or parents, beliefs or lifestyle, he was the victim of unsound minds and hearts of ex-members (albeit few) who are too lazy to do something useful with their time and choose to tear down the productive and fruitful lives of people who have instead chosen a life of selflessness and service to God and others. And “because they received not the love of the truth have been sent a strong delusion that they should believe a lie” (2 Thes.2:10,11). As such, there are probably those out there who believe they “do God service” (Jn.16:2) in propagating false accusations or even legitimate past misconduct but blown way out of perspective and proportion.

If Ricky was raised in a scenario any way similar to mine, it might not have been perfect I agree, but as intelligent human beings we are made capable of learning from mishaps and even misfortunes to become wiser and stronger from it. I believe and know from my personal relation with former members and friends, that we are capable of accomplishing great feats if we put our hearts and minds to the task.

Many of the posts of my companions have elaborated on how unjust it is for the outspoken few hostile ex-members who take it upon themselves to “open our minds” and to defend us from the “abused lifestyle” we have been “forced” to live. To all of you: Thank you, but no thanks! I am free and well able to choose for myself. And no, I have not been nor seen anyone abused in my 24 years of life in the Family. Unfortunately though, I cannot say the same for many of the friends I have since made in “regular society.” I have heard countless heart-wrenching accounts from my friends out there who were very much abused by society, secular school systems, and even their own parents. And who is helping them or even speaking out for them?

My point is, in a world of billions of people, all its personalities and freaks, it stands to reason that a handful of people would misuse their freedoms in a fellowship such as the Family International. Laws are made for the law-breakers, hence the enforced rules of 1986 and 88.

I have cried many tears during these past few weeks, tears for Angela, for her family, for Ricky’s family, but also for Ricky, and how ruthless it was of the people who inspired such thoughts and cruelty in his heart. What loveless lives they must lead to encourage hatred and murder in the heart of a young man who was once happy, though preferring a more mainstream way of life, who once was assured of his family’s love and care, of God’s love and care, only to die alone at his own hand after pursuing the vengeance of other’s hatred. This to me is appalling. Have you no respect for life, no reverence of God? We are each accountable for our actions and deeds, for our words and the influence we instill in others. … So help you God.

Angie Tomassini Jacques

I think every parent, when they have their first child, looks back on the way they were raised, and they make decisions regarding how they will apply what they’ve gone through in their own life to how they will raise their child. You look at the happy times, the fun times, you look at the experiences you remember as pleasant, even the things that weren’t so fun, but were necessary in making you who you are today, and you want to bring those things to life in your own child. You also look at the things that hurt you, things you disliked and you swear you’ll never let those things happen to your child.

In the Family today, I would venture to say that close to 80% of the children are third generation children. They are our children, those of us who were raised in the Family, and who were the “victims” of a lot of what the Family has been accused of for the last 20 or 30 years. What I’d like to know is why our detractors are still harping on the same issues, when we’ve all grown up. We’re adults now, and so, no, we don’t need to be rescued. We have children now, and we intend on raising those children as best as we possibly can.

When I had my first child, five years ago, I, like other parents, took a look at how I was raised, what went right in my life and what went wrong. There were so many things that went right in my life as a child growing up in the Family. We traveled, met people, learned so many things, lived and experienced things that very few kids have a chance to experience. I want to give that to my children. I want to raise them in the Family, so they can have the same opportunities I had, and more.

I also had an excellent mother, one who, if I can come even close to raising my kids the way she raised us, I will be very happy. She lived selflessly for us, poured everything into us, and was very protective of us. But in spite of all the good, there were of course things that I wish had happened differently to me as a child.

For instance, although I had very well-rounded training and experience in many educational areas while growing up, I personally wish I had gotten a better scholastic education, and so I’m doing all in my power to ensure that my kids receive a good and complete education.

I also experienced things growing up that probably shouldn’t have happened, or that could have been called abuse. I wish they didn’t happen, but I don’t blame anyone except for the individuals who were responsible for them, and who were excommunicated from the Family for what they did. I’ve sworn to do all in my power to protect my own children from letting anything like that happen to them, and if I felt that there was a chance of any of my children getting mistreated, I would be out of here like a flash of lightning, believe me. I’m not one to sit by idly and let anyone do to my children what I don’t think is right. I’m very involved in their lives, scholastics, discipline and training to ensure that they grow up happy, secure and with all their needs met.

When I was growing up I had a lot of fear. I don’t think I realized this until I became an adult and realized with a great sigh of relief that I didn’t need to be afraid anymore. I was terrified of the police and of us being taken away from our parents. I would stay awake at night in fear of pre-dawn raids on our home and of masked gunmen storming in and taking us away. Thankfully that never happened to me. It did happen to some of my friends though. Many of the children in the Family experienced very frightening raids, and it was a very real and ever present threat to all of us. Thankfully, the Family was vindicated in each case, and all the children were subsequently returned to their parents. But I want to protect my children from that kind of fear.

Currently, both my sons are obsessed with wanting to be policemen, and their stuffed dogs are police dogs. They’re excited to see a police car whenever we go out, and it makes me happy as a parent to know that they’re protected from the kinds of fears that I experienced while growing up.

It would break my heart to see my children go through needless trauma, which has the potential to scar them for life, only to be returned immediately afterwards because there was no evidence of abuse. My kids are happy, well adjusted, loving, intelligent, educated children who have never even come near anything that could be considered abusive.

What I want to say to all those who seek to rescue our children from us and who are convinced that all children in the Family are abused and mistreated is, give us a chance. Give us a chance to raise our children right, to give to our children what we’ve always wanted. We are doing the best we can, and believe me, that’s much better then any institution or foster home could ever hope to do. Sure you have issues with the way you were raised, but who doesn’t? Why not give us a little credit along with all those abuse stories to try to do it right by our own children.

I feel sorry for you if you feel like you were mistreated, or that your life was screwed up forever by something you experienced as a child. But bringing trauma, heartache and pain to hundreds of the Family’s children is not going to bring closure to your own pain. If you need help to relieve you of the bitterness you feel about your past or the past of others you know, seek out the help of a professional, and try to go about things in a logical, reasonable manner that would actually help, instead of harm and hinder others.

There are many ex-Family members who have moved on and who are living happy, fulfilled lives, including my sister and many others whom I have known, and these I consider very dear friends. I do pray for those of you who haven’t moved on, that you can find peace and meaning to your lives without seeking vengeance and the hurt of others.

Why not support us and our endeavors to give our children the best lives possible? We, like you, were raised in the Family. We’ve been through the same things, and we want to raise our kids free of any of the negative things that we went through, so why not let us try? You who say that you’re our brothers and sisters, our friends, and that you want to rescue us from the Family, I ask you, if you are our friends and our brothers and sisters, why would you want to hurt us and our families? Why would you want to take our children away? Why do you threaten to kill us? Why do you condone the violent murder of a dear friend of ours? Because you, our detractors, are some of our brothers and sisters, we do love you. I love you. But I can’t say you are my friend if you are trying to hurt my children.

The ironic hug that followed, coupled with the rhetorical words, “This hurts me more than it hurts you,” had made me angry and stiff as a board. “If they expect me to believe that, they obviously have never felt the fly swatter.”

Ok, so I was naughty, I got spanked, I got silence restriction, constructive get out, K.P. [kitchen patrol], missed movies, and scribbled tedious writing assignments.

But whenever I think back on my childhood, these things are hardly memorable, and at the most something I laugh at or am proud of.

Am I weird? Possibly.

I am, after all, in a supposed sex cult. Good thing too. This way my mediocre childhood hardships will afford me extraordinary sympathy, should I eventually choose to leave the Family.

Maybe the reason I got through my “rough” child hood, was that I was a strong stubborn kid, and perhaps a weaker character would have been scarred for life.
Or maybe–& I hate to admit it–it just wasn’t THAT bad.

Sure no one likes being punished. I have to admit that, upon waking, spankings weren’t up there on my “Yippee list” with get-outs & snack time, like the ever-present desire for movie night was.

But I like what it’s made me.

Ok, so you heard about the stringency from every available, eager source; you’ve heard of the sexual abuse (something I never experienced nor saw happen during my 21 years in the Family).

These few and far-between instances that have made a handful of people so bitter and unable to let go, have swamped the news, and colored people’s views of The Family.

When I watch the news, should I be scared shitless? All you hear about is rape, war, drug abuse, murder, husbands beating wives, battered children, homeless families, and a general lack of hope.

Now, does that mean that that’s all there is out there?
Does it mean that my friends who leave and have left the Family have no chance of living a good life, one where they will be satisfied, happy, fulfilled & able to make and reach goals?

No.

The bad of this world, the mistakes people make, the hurt that’s been caused (either intentionally or unintentionally), is only a small (however widely broadcasted) part of life.

Although the amount of evil that happens is so much smaller in the Family in percentage than anywhere else, (and in fact is now non existent) it is still one of the few actions of ours that makes the news.

I want to tell you about a few of the good things I’ve lived–the great things.

I’ve lived, or passed through 24 countries.

I’ve tried to learn at least 6 languages.

I’ve been in dance troops that as a kid made my life the most exciting thing.

I sang on the biggest aircraft carrier in the world.

I have witnessed to the most interesting people, and have gotten souls saved, achieving my goal to be a missionary at a young age.

When I was 16 I decided to be in the Family with my whole heart, at 18 I renewed that pledge.

I have had holidays, (like normal kids).

I have been on amazing excursions.

I have been given the opportunity to learn many things and have had a wide vocation.

I enjoy my free time, relationships and sex the way all young people do.

I chose what I do with my life, and I chose to spend the time I’ve been given doing something that I feel will make a difference.

When I go to bed at night I know I won’t wake up and catch the same train to the same job. I’m excited about what the day holds.

I’m normal. …I’m better than normal.
And if abuse gets such good results … then it should be in the scholastic plan of all children.

I am not perfect, and I am not satisfied.

I know I will never be perfect, and perfection isn’t what I’m looking for.

But I will continue to strive to be the best woman I can be, and do the most I can for the cause I love.

Life won’t always be a bed of roses, and when it isn’t, I have someone to go to, and I don’t have to pay to sit on their couch.

I conclude, life is what you make it, not what someone tells you it should be.

Make it worth being proud of and don’t waste the precious moment life is being bitter.

Marianne Cutting

I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Gabe, commonly known as Gabe, I am an X member of TF [The Family], why, and why am I giving a conclusion in my conclusion instead of in the moving on page, I’ll get to that also, sooner or later I think and hope.

I am an X because I have a problem with weed. Yep, that’s it folks, I do, and I guess that has stopped me from being up there with the rest of you. But I was in TF for many years living in Brazil.

I remember much in ‘86 when we lived in Curitiba with some people that nowadays are called “abusers” in TF. These so-called FGA [first-generation adult] abusers would from morning to night try to teach us as much as they could, even though we many did not have many means. They were frustrated at times and I am sure that they have made some mistakes, haven’t you made any?

Also I believe in TF in many ways and it does have the best system designed for the ones inside, not to isolate them but to protect their kids from the days we live in—they are dark, scary, full of demons roaming the roads of death looking, searching to see who he will grab next, who will he hurt and stab with a fatal stab that is the doubt of why are you in TF anyways.

I tell you guys, you SGAs [second generation adults], that are really doing the Lord’s work that is in Mark 16:15—cuz if you are you will prosper—I wish you the spiritual power you all need to reach out in to the heart of the lost ones out here in the generation that is your generation, the ones you were created to reach and that is your mission. I do it my way and you have your way to do it.

GBY all. Keep the fight.
Gabe_cw